


Eyes Closed

by ohhhkenneth



Category: GOT7
Genre: Boyfriends, BoyxBoy, Cheating, GOT7 - Freeform, Gay, Gay Love, Love, Love Triangle, M/M, Markjin, Romance, Yaoi, idol, kpop, markson, threeway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14248983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhhkenneth/pseuds/ohhhkenneth
Summary: Mark loves his boyfriend Jackson, and happily lives together with him and also his long time best friend, Jinyoung. The three are comfortable in their two-bedroom apartment, but that comfort becomes unbearable as Mark realizes that the lines between love and friendship are easily blurred. What happens when he's unsure which love he wants, and which he needs?





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> → Haven't decided how many chapters, randomly wrote this on a whim. Honestly, I don't even know what this is gonna be. Don't hate me.  
> → Follow me on social media @ ohhhkenneth

"We're really watching this again, you guys?" Jinyoung was less than pleased to realize that, for the 8th time this week, they were about to watch Game of Thrones.  
  
"Yes. Now be quiet." Jackson said, taking a seat next to Mark on the longer leather couch that was adjacent to the armchair Jinyoung was curled up in.  
  
"I don't get why you even bother putting it on" Jinyoung popped a handful of popcorn into his mouth with a certain annoyance in his voice, "It's not like you guys even pay attention anyway. You just make out half the time."  
  
Mark leered over from where he was sitting, nestled up into Jackson's body, with Jackson's arm hooked lovingly around his shoulders.  
  
Mark closed his eyes and laughed at himself in his head, because he knew that Jinyoung's comment, no matter how snarky it was, was mostly accurate.  
  
He leaned his head gently into Jackson's shoulder, his boyfriend was wide eyed, his attention glued to the screen as he shovelled handfuls of popcorn into his mouth.  
  
Mark enjoyed these moments the most, he thought, cuddled up to his boyfriend. Jackson smelled so good, his body was so warm and inviting, and his smile was enough to make Mark melt each and every time he did it.  
  
They had been dating for a year now, only having just moved into an apartment together the previous month.  
  
Jinyoung, a mutual friend of theirs, had gotten them to hang out after constant nagging, saying how much they would like each other. Of course, he was right.  
  
One thing about Jinyoung is that he was always, always right.  
  
Their living situation was an interesting one. Jackson's parents owned the condo they were staying in, and charged Jinyoung a reduced rent because they considered him like family; however, since the condo was two bedroom, Jackson thought it would be he perfect place for he and Mark to live together too. Not wanting to displace Jinyoung, and being such great friends and all, Jackson thought it would be best that all three lived together.  
  
And every Friday they get together on the couch, watching Game of Thrones while Mark stares lovingly at Jackson, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes occasionally at the pair.  
  
"Can you guys please get a room." Jinyoung said under his breath, knowing that it was a rhetorical question, and realizing that Mark and Jackson probably didn't even hear him anyway.  
  
Jackson had turned his steadfast gaze and attention completely away from the TV and over to his red headed boyfriend, using his free left hand to lift Mark's chin gently, just enough so their lips could brush.  
  
Mark's eyes were closed, and his breathing was deeper and more serious as he leaned his face closer to Jackson's. Jackson had an amazing ability to turn from a complete goofball to one of the sexiest men on the planet, even with something as simple as a stare.  
  
Jackson kissed Mark slightly, then again, but this time slower. Their makeouts on the couch were usually nothing more than just a few pecks and some tongue, but this time it was different.  
  
Jackson looked over inconspicuously at Jinyoung in the middle of their kiss, noticing that the third wheel wasn't paying attention to them.  
  
With a slow and daring motion, he used his hand to guide Mark's own hand over to his thigh. He pinned Mark's hand down onto his leg, then slid it up ever so slightly, all while locked onto Mark's mouth, pressing his tongue to the tip of Mark's lower lip, which Mark gladly allowed, meeting him with his own tongue.  
  
When Jackson was sure that Jinyoung was still looking away, and with the cloak of darkness that the dim living room allowed, he placed Mark's hand onto his crotch, where he was sporting a half hard erection underneath his dark wash jeans. The tension beneath the fabric getting tighter and tighter as his arousal grew.  
  
Mark's eyes opened immediately, meeting Jackson's expectant gaze, his expression was less than a smile and more of a devious smirk, almost to say "Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?"  
  
"You're crazy." Mark whispered, with a bashful smile through their kiss.  
  
"Yeah." Jackson agreed, his eyes never leaving Mark's face. "Crazy about you."  
  
"I can hear you." Jinyoung lulled from the other couch, making Jackson giggle.  
  
*  
  
The following morning Jinyoung was up early, preparing toast and coffee for himself in the kitchen. It was hardly 8am, but Jackson was already up and out of the apartment. It was just Mark and Jinyoung for the morning.  
  
"Morning, zombie." Jinyoung smiled gently as Mark waddled into the kitchen rubbing his half-lidded and swollen eyes. His hair was a fiery red mess of waves.  
  
"Hi." Mark croaked back, trying to sound awake.  
  
Jinyoung laughed at how sleepy Mark was, popping another mug onto the countertop. He filled the glass three quarters of the way, then reached into the fridge for the soy milk.  
  
Jinyoung already knew well how Mark liked his coffee, with room for soy and 1 teaspoon of sugar. It seemed odd to Jinyoung though, because Mark wasn't even lactose, and one teaspoon of sugar did literally nothing to change the bitterness of the coffee.  
  
Still, he slid the cup over to the sleepy boy.  
  
"Thanks." He nodded back, taking a small sip of the hot beverage. Jinyoung was always taking care of Mark, he realized just then. "No, I mean it. Thanks for just... everything."  
  
Jinyoung sat across the island from Mark on a barstool, he spun side to side with a handsome grin only Jinyoung was capable of.  
  
"Don't mention it." He finally said back. "Do you know when Jackson's exam is?"  
  
Mark shook his head with a confused pout. "No clue."  
  
"I figured he'd at least tell you. It seems pretty important to him. I mean, if I was taking a national exam to get into police academy, an exam that literally will determine my future, that I've been studying and preparing for for months, yeah, I'd probably tell my boyfriend." Jinyoung was starting to sound patronizing.  
  
"Well he didn't, alright." Mark felt more embarrassed than upset. He knew Jinyoung didn't mean any harm, because Jinyoung was always finding ways of reminding Mark of his worth.  
  
It was odd to Mark sometimes though, that Jinyoung was so conscious about how Mark was being treated. Yet, at the same time Jinyoung wasn't exactly having much luck in the dating department.  
  
He had gone on plenty of dates - some not by choice, but because Mark forced him to - yet none of the men he met really had staying power. That, or Jinyoung shot them down before giving them the proper chance.  
  
"Look, all I'm saying is you should at least bring it up to Jackson." Jinyoung was standing now, with a mother-like stance, cupping his mug while leaning next to Mark.  
  
"Yeah, cause that always solves everything." Mark breathed out, knowing that he was just being difficult, and that Jinyoung did have a point, like always.  
  
"Just do it. I hate when you mope." The boy said as he exited room, "Oh and take a shower too. You smell like sex, and your hair looks crazy."  
  
*  
"Thanks for your help. I know I'll get better at it, I just need some more practice." Melody, a new girl in one of his classes, said as she walked out of the classroom doors with him.  
  
Mark was in his last year of his degree, things were going well for him. He was happy with his major, journalism, and he felt confident in helping new people whenever he got the opportunity.  
  
"So I guess I'll see you on Monday. Excited for the exam?" He asked, trying to make small talk as he waited for Jackson to pick him up. Jackson always picked him up on Friday evenings from his last class.  
  
"Not at all. I'm going to spend all weekend studying." She laughed, patting her textbooks as if they were babies. "Anyway, I'm gonna go. I have lots to do. Do you need a ride?"  
  
Mark shook his head, "No. My boyfriend should be here any minute."  
  
"Is he a well dressed man with brown hair and a killer smile by any chance?" Melody asked, her attention spanning past Mark and to the door.  
  
"Yeah he is.." Mark blushed, turning to see what she was talking about. When his eyes met the front doors to the school he saw Jinyoung standing there wearing one of his expensive peacoats, smiling over to him with a wave.  
  
"Damn, he's fine." Melody nudged Mark's elbow. "And he picks you up each week... what a sweetheart. Nice work."  
  
Before he could correct her, Mel was already walking the opposite direction. Mark laughed with a shake of his head and made his way to Jinyoung.  
  
"Let me guess, Jackson's busy?" Mark asked, not even waiting to hear the answer before walking past Jinyoung and heading to the car.  
  
"He said something about helping his brother with something. I don't know." Jinyoung explained as he hopped into the driver seat and slammed the door.  
  
Mark leaned his head against the window of the passenger seat. It didn't take Jinyoung asking or him admitting it for them both to know he was disappointed.  
  
"That's funny, he texted me something about having to help his mom with something." Mark finally spoke when they'd been driving for a couple of minutes.  
  
"Hey. I know what will cheer you up." Jinyoung perked up suddenly, changing the subject. He plugged in his phone and turned the volume up. Over the speakers Mark heard one of his favourite songs.  
  
He couldn't help but smile a little, even though he was turning his head away to hide it. It was a playlist that Jinyoung had made for him for his birthday. Mark was feeling bad about turning 24 and Jinyoung made him a party playlist to get him in the mood. It worked then, and it worked now too.  
  
"It's Friday, you can't be upset." He declared, turning into a parking lot of a supermarket that was a few blocks from their apartment.  
  
Mark couldn't help but laugh, Jinyoung always knew what to do and say. "What are we doing here?" He asked as Jinyoung parked the car.  
  
Jinyoung just smiled his pretty eye smile and left the vehicle. Mark watched him enter the liquor store that was attached to the supermarket.  
  
A few songs on the playlist later, and Jinyoung entered the vehicle again. He placed two plastic bags on the seat behind him, they made a clanking noise as they hit the leather.  
  
"Do I even want to know...?" Mark asked with a shocked but excited expression on his face as he looked at the amount of alcohol Jinyoung had purchased.  
  
"Even got your favourite." Jinyoung said as he pulled out of the parking spot. "Bombay Sapphire."  
  
Mark glared, "You mean YOUR favourite, right? I barely survived that night thanks to you and that horrible drink." Mark laughed and shook his head.  
  
*  
  
The two boys were home now, Mark was getting ready in the bathroom while Jinyoung let a few friends in the front door. Mark could hear a few loud footsteps and then a sharp laughter. He immediately knew BamBam had arrived.  
  
And wherever BamBam went, Yugyeom was right there by his side. So, naturally, Mark was not surprised to see Yugyeom sneak his way past Jinyoung to the bathroom where Mark was.  
  
"Hi Mark" Yugyeom smiled brightly upon seeing Mark styling his hair in the mirror.  
  
Yugyeom, although somewhat mature for his age, had his moments where Mark even forgot just how young he was. He was adamant on being invited along on boys' nights out, so BamBam, against the knowledge of Jackson, got him a fake ID.  
  
"Hi Yuggie." Mark pipped, flicking the last piece of hair into place with his flat iron. "What do you think?" He asked, turning toward the younger man with a proud smile, "Been wanting to go red for a while now."  
  
Yugyeom let out a sarcastic slow clap, but his warm smile was telling of how much he liked it. "Looks good. You always look good though. Asshole." He poked Mark's ribs, making the older squirm slightly with a giggle. "Where's Jackson? Figured he'd be the life of the party."  
  
Mark's giggle faded quickly, and he cleared his throat with a gruff sound. "He's with family, think something came up."  
  
"Mhm..." Yugyeom simply said back. "I gotta pee anyway, you can stay and watch or leave." He said, pretending to pull his pants down in order to get Mark to leave faster.  
  
Mark rolled his eyes and shut the flat iron off, slipping out the door and to his room.  
  
He shut the door behind him and laid in the bed, the room completely black. He had only drank maybe two small drinks that Jinyoung had made him, but he was already feeling sentimental and the smell of Jackson's pillow wasn't helping.  
  
He laid there, going over Yugyeom's reaction to him saying Jackson couldn't make it. Mark wondered if he was the only one not in on some large inside joke, and if he was left in the dark over something. He felt a pit knot in his stomach, so he decided for the sake of the night, he'd ignore that thought.  
  
Just then there was a timid knock at the door. "Come in." Mark groaned.  
  
The door swung open quickly, the light turning on and nearly blinding the unsuspecting Mark.  
  
BamBam was standing at the door, wearing a bright red blazer and leather jeans, with a pair of Italian dress shoes that more than likely cost the equivalent of a down payment on a house.  
  
"No no no, none of this." He said, wagging a finger at Mark. "Not allowed. Nope." He picked Mark up from the bed and yanked him with all of his fragile might.  
  
"Fine I'm up. I just came in here to look for my contact lenses." Mark lied, conceding into BamBam's firm grasp.  
  
"You don't even wear contacts. I hate you. Stop lying." He said back, pushing Mark out the door of the room. "The party is out there. Youngjae is waiting to sing for you."  
  
As Mark headed into the living room, he saw Jinyoung and Youngjae with microphones in their hand. Without warning, Youngjae began singing incredibly loud and acapella.  
  
"He's had three rum and cokes." BamBam whispered into Mark's ear. Mark nodded with a light chuckle.  
  
Once Youngjae was done showing off, Jinyoung began singing with him. They sang a duet of a really popular band, one that Mark secretly loved, but didn't know that Jinyoung liked too.  
  
Jinyoung, for all his joking around, was actually an incredible singer. Most of their friends liked to regard Youngjae as the best singer, and he was, but often overlooked how talented Jinyoung really was.  
  
Mark mixed himself another gin and tonic, then sat down on the couch and listened to the pair sing. Every once and a while Jinyoung would point at Mark and jokingly serenade him, making Mark pretend to be smitten, although Mark didn't have to pretend very hard. Jinyoung's smooth voice was infectious.  
  
When the song was done, Jinyoung planted himself down next to Mark, hitting the couch with a thud.  
  
"So, this club we're going to tonight just opened. I figured you could use the fun." Jinyoung explained, sipping away at his drink. "I'll call an Uber in like... thirty?"  
  
Mark was hesitant to go out that night, even though it was a Friday night and school was stressful.  
  
"Before you say no to the club..." Jinyoung interjected with a light hand on his knee, the other hand rustling about in his tight jean pocket, "I got us these."  
  
Jinyoung held up a pair of VIP passes. They were plastic and looked like they cost a lot of money.  
  
"I know, they seem pricey. Don't worry they were a gift. I have connections." Jinyoung answered before Mark could even protest. It was a bit funny but also scary to Mark how accurate Jinyoung was at reading his facial expressions.  
  
Mark was preparing to turn the invite down, that was until he looked down at his phone screen. No notifications. No missed calls. Jackson hadn't even responded to his last text message six hours prior.  
  
"Yeah. Let's do it." Mark suddenly said, shoving his phone into his pocket and switching it to silent.  
  
"I'm so excited. This DJ used to spin at clubs with Paris Hilton you know." BamBam chirped as he danced in the middle of the living room, twirling in circles with Yugyeom as they laughed.  
  
A little while later Youngjae sang from the kitchen loudly, "The Uber is hereeeee."  
  
"Oh, really quick before we go. I just bought this cologne. Try some." Jinyoung said, squirted a few drops onto Mark's wrists and neck. It smelled like expensive Lamborghinis and gold mixed with fresh rain in the morning. Mark couldn't believe how nice it smelled.  
  
On the way to the club, in the Uber, Mark finally received his first message from Jackson.  
  
_Jackson: Finally home. Where you at?_  
  
_Jackson: Nevermind, just saw Bam's Snap story. He's so wild. I love it._  
  
Mark felt a bit upset that Jackson had chosen now to start messaging him back. As much as he tried to come off as the carefree, chill boyfriend that everyone imagined, he couldn't help that deep down he was sometimes easily annoyed and impatient.  
  
_Mark: Yeah we are almost at the club. JY got us VIP tickets. He got one for you too just in case, but you hadn't answered any of your messages..._  
  
_Jackson: Yeah. I was busy helping my sister. Her car broke down. I was just trying to lend a hand. She's pretty stressed out these days. I'm sorry. :(_  
  
Mark wrestled with the idea of being petty, giving a short and stern response, or even drilling in the fact that he didn't text or call for hours. When he was just about to leave it alone, his alcohol started kicking in.  
  
_Mark: So you were so busy you couldn't even text me or call me, and couldn't get me from school?_  
  
_Jackson: Whoa, babe. I said I'm sorry._  
  
Mark instantly felt like crap for responding that way. He was never like that, even when he felt justified in it. It just wasn't him.  
  
_Jackson: Let me shower up and come meet you guys. I'll make it up to you._  
  
Mark took a deep breath and looked out the dark tinted Uber windows. His face was starting to feel fuzzy and his heart began aching for Jackson's touch. He couldn't deny how much he missed some of the most simple things Jackson was able to provide so effortlessly.  
  
_Mark: Deal. Message me when you're here. We are just arriving._  
  



	2. two

Jinyoung led the group of boys to the front, passing the lineup of about eighty people. He ushered each friend in one by one with help from the doorman. A few groans from the lineup made Jinyoung chuckle. He was always getting them into cool places.

Inside the place was dark and there was a certain musk to the air, filled with alcohol and perfume and heat from the dancing.

"Don't worry," Jinyoung yelled to Mark, "I left Jackson's pass at the front. You know... if he decides to come." Mark nodded faintly, not holding his breath for that possibility.

The speakers boomed loudly, forcing Jinyoung to use hand symbols to lead his friends into the section that was reserved for them just above the main dancing area. Mark couldn't believe how bougie the whole thing was, he felt like he was in an episode of Gossip Girl or something similar. There were dancers in plastic cages; the entire place was lit by lasers and strobe effects.

"You know, I don't really usually like this kinda music but I can get down to this!" Youngjae yelled, although his regular speaking voice wasn't far off from shouting.

"Yeah, it's nice!" Mark yelled back with a laugh. He was happy to see his friends having so much fun.

School, although important to Mark, often times made his social life take a backseat. A lot of people assumed Mark was a quiet, reserved young man. But although it was true Mark has his quieter side, he didn't feel as though it was a fair assessment, because he hardly got the opportunities outside of school to really connect with people aside from his immediate friend group.

After they found their VIP booth up a short flight of stairs, the boys were able to sit down. A waitress with a sequin top and red lipstick showed up soon after to take drink orders.

"We'll get bottle service please," Jinyoung said before anyone had a chance to respond. Mark rolled his eyes with a silent giggle. The bottle cost 300$. Mark didn't even want to begin to wonder why Jinyoung was spoiling them, yet again.

"Do I have to make out with you to pay for this?" Yugyeom asked with a snort. He was clearly very drunk, and it was no secret to their friend group that Yugyeom had a massive crush on Jinyoung.

"Don't worry, this is on me. No makeouts required." Jinyoung laughed back, pouring drinks for the boys.

"I'm sure you wouldn't mind if Mark did it." Yugyeom suddenly said under his breath, his smile fading sharply. There was a venomous undertone in the way he spoke. BamBam elbowed Yugyeom in the ribs just hard enough to get him to shut up.

For the sake of the night, and because he did not feel like dealing with it right that moment, Mark pretended not to hear the comment.

Jinyoung's leg bounced impatiently as they sat on the red suede couch, watching the dance floor below. "Come on, let's go." He suddenly said, grabbing a hold of Mark's arm and pulling him up from the seat.

"Get him a glass of water would ya." Jinyoung ordered to Bambam, patting Yugyeom on the head. He knew that Yugyeom hated when people babied him.

Jinyoung led Mark to the dance floor, weaving through people all while being interlocked at the arm. "Dance with me." Jinyoung shouted over the music, more rhetorically than anything.

By now Mark was feeling the alcohol and the music and the fun vibes. He closed his eyes and let himself feel the music. He was familiar with dancing with Jinyoung, they had a good rhythm together and always had fun - except it usually involved Jackson as well.

Dancing one on one with him didn't worry Mark though. He started by swaying and popping along to the song, a large smile forming on his face whenever he opened his eyes and saw Jinyoung mirroring his movements.

Something felt different for Mark though, he was dancing incredibly close to Jinyoung, so close that he could feel the air from his breath and the heat coming from his shoulders and neck. Then Jinyoung took a small step closer and glided into Mark, his arms instinctively going for Mark's waist. Mark smirked and let himself be grabbed by Jinyoung, being pulled into a smooth rocking motion as Jinyoung began to grind on him.

Mark closed his eyes again, and for a moment he had everything he needed that night: with his eyes closed Jinyoung felt so much like Jackson, so warm and protective and strong. His cologne brushed into Mark's nose with every sway, making Mark's heart flutter.

Eventually, Jinyoung was so close to Mark that Mark was leaning and resting his chin on Jinyoung's shoulder. Their hips moved as one back and forth to the RnB song that played over the dance floor.

"Feeling better, Mark?" Jinyoung's soft voice whispered into his ear. It might have been a song or two, but it felt like an eternity to Mark, there was a selfish desire coming over him as he rested his face into Jinyoung's soft neck, he didn't want it to end.

"I do feel a lot better…" Mark whispered back, his eyes still closed. "I hate that you know how to make me feel better no matter what."

"That's my job. I'm your best friend." Jinyoung replied with a loving nudge of his cheek onto Mark's forehead.

Mark felt his alcohol kicking in again, "It's not your job actually. It's not. It's..." He lifted his head from Jinyoung's embrace just then and just then saw his boyfriend in perfect vision, standing two meters away from them, making his way through the crowd. He didn’t notice them at first.

"Jackson's job?" Jinyoung finished, he didn't seem very excited to hear that response.

"Yeah..." Mark replied so quiet that Jinyoung barely heard him. His got nervous and excited at the sight of Jackson, but it was followed by confusion and angst. He couldn't figure out why at that moment he wasn’t entirely excited to see Jackson, at least not as much as he usually was. He figured it was a combination of the alcohol and the fact that he was annoyed with Jackson.

"There’s my two favorite boys." Jackson yelled. His shirt was buttoned down five buttons, exposing his hard body and tight muscles. Sweat lined the ridges on his arms and chest, his hair was pushed back and his eyes were bright.

Jinyoung turned around swiftly and cleared his throat. He gave Mark a concerned glance for half a second before Jackson reached out to hug him.

"Bout time!" Jinyoung shouted back, returning the hug.

"I couldn't miss it. Not after the boys told me you spent 300 on a damn bottle, Mr. Rich." Jackson joked, smacking Jinyoung in the side of the arm.

Mark smiled his usual handsome smile, and let Jackson pull him into a sweaty warm hug. "Hi handsome." Jackson said softly so only Mark could hear.

It was a simple greeting but it was so precise in its purpose, and so effective. Mark felt himself melt into Jackson's embrace. "You know I love when you do your hair like this. You're killing me, babe." Jackson's deep voice lulled into Mark's ear.

Before Mark could get any closer or intimate with Jackson, he felt an awkward presence coming from Jinyoung.

“I’m gonna go check on Yugyeom. Have fun you two.” He told them, turning away and walking off the dance floor before either could reply to him.

Mark knew something was wrong. He could feel that it was, but Jackson seemed completely oblivious; then again, Jackson was always the last to clue in on things that were off.

“I think maybe we should go and check on them too.” Mark suggested timidly.

It was obvious Jackson was not happy with that answer. “Why? I just got here, I figured I could see you. I haven’t touched you all day.” He reached a hand up Mark’s shirt, it was cold and foreign, making Mark pull away reflexively.

“Whoa” Jackson said, stepping away. His eyes furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

Mark felt put on the spot, and it felt a little unfair. He sighed and turned his head away.

“You haven’t seen me all day because you’re constantly leaving and not answering your phone. You’re always leaving me in the dark, bailing on dates and plans.” Mark suddenly began to let it out. He tried to figure out where it was all coming from, but the burn of alcohol in his cheeks was telling enough. He couldn’t hold it in.

“You only want me when it’s convenient.” Mark huffed out, staring right at Jackson. “I sometimes feel like I’m a part-time priority to you. I’m bottom of the barrel. I always come last.”

“Babe…” Jackson began, but was cut off before he could continue.

“No, I said I want to go sit down. I can’t deal with this right now.” Mark was visibly upset. His cheeks were red and hot. “Let’s go.” He pulled on Jackson’s hand and led them off the dancefloor to join the others.


	3. three

By the time they reached the booth, Mark’s eyes were starting to turn red and his cheeks were hot and flushed.   


“Can you talk to me, please?” Jackson groaned, following the boy like a lost puppy.   


Mark’s sudden anger was surprising even to himself, and in the midst of his outburst, he was scared to talk to Jackson, worried that he would break down and cry if he attempted to.   


Yugyeom was hunched over and moaning into a steel bucket near the end of the red couch, BamBam was rubbing his back lovingly while he puked.   


“Yikes. Looks like Yugyeom needs to head home.” Jackson mentioned to Jinyoung, who agreed with a firm nod.   


“I’ll take him. I haven’t drunk tonight so I can drive, and besides, I think  it’s probably best we get going anyway.” He looked over at Mark, who was doing his best to ignore Jackson’s stare.   


“Let’s go, baby  boy. ” Jackson said, ruffling Yugyeom’s orange hair. “Don’t puke in my car though, please.”   


Yugyeom laughed back at Jackson as the older boy helped him to his feet.   


“I should go with you, one of us will need to take care of him so his mom doesn’t freak out. You know how she gets.” BamBam interjected, wrapping Yugyeom’s arm around his shoulder to help him walk. “Mrs. Kim will murder us all if we don’t get him back in one piece.”   


“I’ll go  too. ” Youngjae said, yawning sheepishly. “Alcohol does not agree with me right now.”   


As the last boy sat up from the booth to leave with Yugyeom, Jinyoung’s face looked more and more visibly upset.   


“Yeah, you guys should head home. Take care of him..” he sighed, taking another sip of his drink and looking away.   


Mark felt himself take an automatic step forward, away from the group.   


“You guys go on ahead, I’ll stay with Jinyoung.” He announced, finally turning toward Jackson, who was looking confused and a bit offended.   


Jackson leaned in and whispered sharply to his boyfriend, “That’s it? You’re just going to bring all of that up and then storm away silently, and now you don’t even want to go home with me?”   


“Calm down, it’s not that serious.” Mark argued back under his breath, “You already know Jinyoung spent a lot of money for us to have fun tonight, and now everyone’s bailing just because Yugyeom got out of hand as usual. Besides, I need some time to think.”   


Jackson looked hard and confused as he stared at  Mark, as if wondering what there was to think about, searching for a different answer from him. BamBam tugged at Jackson’s shirt, motioning for them to go.   


“Fine. Suit yourself.” Jackson finally said, turning away to join the boys. They each grabbed an arm and led Yugyeom out of the club.   


When they were finally alone, Mark found a seat next to Jinyoung. The black-haired boy was still noticeably upset, bobbing his head along to the song.   


“ Hey. ” Mark said softly, just loud enough for Jinyoung to hear  over the music. He nudged the boy’s leg, letting out a smile that Jinyoung couldn’t physically help but to return.   


“Sorry about all this.” Mark sighed, his brows furrowed.   


Jinyoung pursed his lips, then nodded slightly. He slid a glass next to his own and poured out another drink quickly, then slid it back over to Mark.   


“Prove it,  then. ” Jinyoung commanded, pointing at the drink with his lips. He raised his brow and his glass to Mark, waiting for the redhead to respond.   


Mark smiled, accepting that this was his only way to atone for his sins. He took a hold of the drink and clinked it against Jinyoung’s. The two boys shot back their drinks smoothly.   


“That was actually  decent. ” Mark said gruffly through his grimace, but Jinyoung's proved he didn't believe him.   


“Better have been. That's a 300 dollar bottle.” Jinyoung poured out another round and slid it toward Mark again. “Here. Cheers to… us.”   


Mark hesitated for a moment, then took the glass and held it in his hand, looking at Jinyoung’s face. “Yeah…” he echoed happily, “To us.”   


They touched glasses again and shared a laugh together that, for a while, made Mark forget completely that he had been  mad or that any of the previous parts of the night had even happened.   


"Thanks for staying." Jinyoung finally said, placing the glass down, his happiness waning slightly.   


Mark could tell something was off.   


"What is it?" He asked blankly, sliding closer to Jinyoung, by now they were inches apart on the red couch. Mark's stare was deep and concerned as he looked into his friend's eyes.   


Jinyoung sighed and shut his eyes, he knew Mark wasn't going to relent, so he finally took a breath in and met Mark's intense gaze.   


"God..." he began, huffing out with a small smile, "You're beautiful."   


Mark's guard went back down as he blushed, playing Jinyoung's compliment off as a friendly gesture.   


"No, I mean it." Jinyoung continued, turning his body so they were facing, still just as close. "You're beautiful. Inside... definitely outside..."   


Mark stopped blushing and remained silent, he wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the emotions that were fueling Jinyoung's words.   


"It feels like at the end of everything, it's always you. You're always here, right next to me." He raised his left hand and took a small tuft of Mark's hair into his fingertips, gently rubbing them as if Mark was a delicate piece of  artwork, or a sculpture.   


"You're my best friend,  Jinyoungie. " Mark replied back softly, using his nickname for Jinyoung. "Of course I'm going to be here for you, always."   


"You haven't called me that in years." Jinyoung smirked, "Are you telling me you don't feel it, too?" Jinyoung swirled his finger in the space between the boy's chests, "This." he clarified.   


Mark, without even a fraction of hesitation, knew what Jinyoung was referring to. It was the feeling of fire that burned at his cheeks and electrified the pit of his stomach whenever Jinyoung would hug him.   


It was the warmth and shivers he got when Jinyoung danced just a little too close to him. It was the sweet, comfortable mornings when Mark was barefaced, tired, and making breakfast in the morning with Jinyoung sitting at the table reading.   


It was the sad tears that streamed down Mark's cheeks and dissolved into Jinyoung's sweater as they hugged, just after Mark had a fight with Jackson.   


And it was now, as they sat in a dark corner of an expensive club, with Jinyoung looking like a million bucks, just trying to give Mark a fun night out to distract him from schoolwork.   


It was all around Mark, an invisible feeling that he wasn't able to quite lock-down, and hadn't put into words before.   


"I...-" He tried, then retreated from the closeness between the two, looking away.   


"I don't want to make you-" Jinyoung tried to backpedal.   


"- I feel it  too. " Mark spoke louder, turning back to him with a serious look.   


The two boys sat in silence for a moment, until Jinyoung placed a hand on Mark's leg, except it wasn't the same anymore.

The touch felt different, and as Mark closed his eyes, he couldn't deny that the touch was something he craved more than anything.


	4. four

Jinyoung’s hand lingered there longer than usual; it was long enough to not have been a mistake and long enough for Mark to recognize that in some small silent way, Jinyoung’s firm grasp was almost asking for permission.  
Mark let his eyes remain closed for a few more seconds before he opened them and met Jinyoung’s gaze.  
Staring at Jinyoung, Mark could see confusion in his eyes and a hesitant bravery on his face, chiseled into his tense jaw. He wanted Mark too.  
The overwhelming presence of lust was in the air - it was a lust that you could only feel if you were desperately yearning for something you knew you couldn’t have.  
Except Mark could have Jinyoung, technically, he was right there after all.  
Still, mixed together with the unshakable feeling of desire that Mark felt was the almost palpable feeling of danger and guilt that he felt, invisibly tugging at him to remove Jinyoung’s hand from his thigh, that was getting dangerously comfortable.  
Mark tried to speak, but his throat was dry from the nerves and from the hard alcohol they had just shot previous.  
“W.. what do you wanna do now?” He felt like a child talking to his best friend now. Skirting around the very obvious tension that was brewing between them.  
Mark wanted to ask Jinyoung to dance again, but decided against it upon second thought, knowing where it most likely would lead.  
“I mean, when do you wanna go?” He managed to ask, a question that had Jinyoung retreating his hand immediately after.  
Mark watched the hand leave his leg and couldn’t help but feel a selfish disappointment, secretly upset at the absent feeling of warmth that he got from it.  
“How about some food, then? We should get going.” Jinyoung was standing now, digging around for his coat check ticket.  
Mark nodded and got up to follow, silently agreeing to that plan.  
*  
“We don’t have to talk about it, you know.” Jinyoung mumbled, his mouth full of udon noodles. He slurped away on the opposite end of the table, directly across Mark. They were at a late night food spot, one that had become quite popular for young people that frequented the bars, due to its cheap prices, greasy food, and its late hours.  
“Talk about what?” Mark quipped, poking at his rice bowl. He wasn’t feeling particularly hungry now that the alcohol was fizzling out of his system.  
“You and Jacks.” Jinyoung clarified. He grabbed a piece of chicken from Mark’s plate and tossed it into his bowl.  
“I saw the tension between you two, I’m not blind. I speak Markson.” He grumbled lowly. “I know it’s bugging you, but you don’t need to explain it to me.”  
Mark had always gone to Jinyoung for anything and everything regarding Jackson. In a way, Jinyoung knew just as much about his relationship than even Mark did himself. There were no surprises between the two.  
Except the reason this fight in particular was upsetting Mark wasn’t because he was annoyed at Jackson, or that Jackson wasn’t spending as much time with him, or that he felt unappreciated by Jackson for the umpteenth time.  
It was because for the first time, Mark felt as though he was outgrowing Jackson, drifting away from him. The distance made Mark's heart shiver with uncertainty and sadness.  
It was an unfamiliar feeling, one that brought with it a series of doubts and anxiousness, because for the first time ever, Mark was picturing life without Jackson as his boyfriend, without them together as one.  
He twirled a fork around in his bowl, unsure of what to say to Jinyoung, there were a million things going through his mind and so many feelings that were swirling around in his body.  
The foreign sadness that he was falling out of love with Jackson was made even worse by the fact that he almost longed for Jinyoung to be around; at first it was natural to go to Jinyoung when he had problems, because he always had due to them being best friends, but now Mark was staring down the strange realization that he might even enjoy Jinyoung's company over Jackson's.  
"Thanks for bringing me out tonight." Mark said, he put a nervous had into Jinyoung's, stopping the other boy from eating.  
There was no doubt in his mind that things were slowly changing; that everything was different now, but how he could navigate the flux and flow inside of his body, Mark had no idea.  
He smiled when Jinyoung rubbed a soft thumb over his finger, his face scrunched up into an adorable eye smile that only Jinyoung was capable of doing.  
"No problem, you know I'm here for anything you need Mark." he answered sternly.  
"For anything I need..." Mark repeated to himself quietly, staring at the soft thumb of his best friend rubbing his hand.  
"Yeah. Whatever you need." Jinyoung echoed.

Mark smirked to himself, he made a mental note to remember exactly that.


	5. five

Jinyoung opened the apartment door as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake up anybody that may have crashed there. He led Mark into the place and turned the light on.

“You good?” He asked sternly, most likely referring to the inevitable argument that Mark was about to walk into with Jackson.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Get some sleep Jinyoungie.” Mark patted his friend’s shoulder.

“You sure?” He repeated, to which Mark nodded confidently before turning away.

“ Hey Mark..”

“Hm?” He paused.

“Remember what I said. Chin up.” Jinyoung told him in a low voice.  
  
Mark was exhausted as he dragged his feet down the hallway to his bedroom. The door was closed and there was no light coming from the bottom.  
Jackson was probably asleep by now. It was 4AM, after all.  
  
With a small crack and a slight creak, the door opened and Mark slipped his slender body through, closing it swiftly behind him. He didn’t turn the light on, he was used to coming to bed late from nights spent at the school studying or working on projects. By now Mark was able to undress and find his way to the bed all from the faint light that the moon provided through the curtains.

As he was releasing his last foot from the grip of his jeans and tossing them to the floor, he heard the grumble of Jackson’s low voice.

“Welcome home, party animal.” He  whispered, Mark could hear him beginning to sit up  in the bed.

He froze, stood there with just his shirt and underwear on, standing in the dim white light of the moon.

Mark wasn’t sure what to do or what to say, he hadn’t decided if that was a conversation he wanted to have tonight.

“Hey” is all he whispered back as he continued about, finding his way into bed, slithering into the sheets. He plugged his phone into its charger and laid it on the side table.

When he laid his head on the pillow and remained silent, Jackson spoke again.

“Did you guys have fun?” He asked expectantly. He didn’t sound particularly suspicious or facetious, just curious.

“We did, we got food after. That’s why it took so long. I was starving.” Mark answered slowly. He felt very vulnerable, not being able to see Jackson’s facial expressions through the darkness, but knowing that Jackson could fully see his own in the moonlight streak.

Four minutes of biting silence went by, Mark was beginning to feel like any hopes of a conversation were as good as dead, and he relaxed his tense body and prepared for sleep. Then Jackson spoke up again.

“I missed you.” He whispered, and through the blanket of blackness on the bed, Mark felt a warm hand.

Jackson’s hand crept onto Mark’s hipbone, gently tugging at him as an invitation to get closer.

Mark felt a shiver of warmth as he let himself be pulled into a comfortable embrace. Being the little spoon to Jackson was intoxicating, even more so than the lingering alcohol that was still in Mark’s system.

Jackson lifted Mark’s head and slid an arm under it, with his other arm over top Mark.

Mark scooted back another few inches to make sure he could feel every part of Jackson’s body on his back, their legs entwined together in a tangle of caressing.

“I missed you  too. ” Mark whispered back. Mark meant it; it was true that he missed Jackson, but he wasn’t sure what exactly he missed in particular. Maybe he wasn’t even talking about that version of Jackson, maybe he was referring to the old Jackson, that made more time for him and made him a priority.

Regardless, Mark’s body and heart knew that he undoubtedly missed the touches of Jackson, each finger was like an electric prodder, sending small jolts down Mark’s body, through his heart and right into the pit of his stomach where it fizzled like a hard shot of tequila, warming Mark and filling his heart with love but also lust.

“I know you hate me right now, but I love  you. ” Jackson whispered so lowly that it tickled Mark’s earlobe. “I’m sorry, Mark. I love you, I promise I do.” He kissed the apology into Mark’s nape, making Mark’s skin become riddled with goosebumps.

Mark wasn’t able to answer, he was now dealing with a new problem his own, one that was swelling and throbbing between his legs.

He reached down and felt the firmness of his dick, the pressure he palmed against it was like ripples of pleasure shooting into his abdomen.

“I’ll make more time for you, honey. I will...” Jackson continued, the vibrations of his deep deep voice drummed deep in Mark’s ear, only making him harder.

He closed his eyes, and let Jackson lull him into a deep pleasure state.

“Tell Jinyoung I’m sorry.” Jackson suddenly said.

Mark immediately saw Jinyoung’s face in his mind’s eye. His hand was still gripping his dick in  firm but short thrusts.

For a second Mark froze himself, his hand not moving another twitch. But Jackson’s warm thighs pressed up behind Mark’s ass, and his strong forearm pulled him in closer and for that moment in  time Mark was imagining that it was his best friend.

Jinyoung was around the same height and weight, albeit a little less muscular but still had a nice physique.

Mark continued to brush his fingers over his dick, rubbing the head quickly over and over, the sensitivity of it at its peak.

His mind flew back to the club, and the few songs that Mark and Jinyoung shared together, with Jinyoung grinding firmly against Mark’s backside, just as Jackson was doing now.

Mark kept his eyes shut tight, the nervous feeling that Jackson would read his mind and find out exactly what he was imagining was both scary but also incredibly exciting to Mark; there was no way Jackson could know.

“ _Fuck_ _me._ ” Mark whispered, his rock hard dick now controlling his emotions.

“Are you sure?” Jackson spoke softly, his left hand taking a full grasp of Mark’s soft plump ass.

“ _Please._ ” Mark demanded in response, arching slightly so that his ass was cupped perfectly in Jackson’s hand.

Jackson ran his fingers playfully in the crack of Mark, rubbing gently over his hole through the thin fabric of the underwear he was wearing.

“I thought you’d never  ask. ” Jackson whispered with a kiss  to Mark’s shoulder.

Mark was still seeing Jinyoung, although the voice was throwing him off slightly, Mark felt greedy and  pleased, as if he was getting both of his boys at the same time with no problems.

Jackson slid Mark’s underwear down only enough so that they were exposing what he needed.

When he pressed into Mark’s back firmly, thrusting his hips into him, Mark realized then that Jackson was naked the entire time.

“Close your eyes.” Jackson said devilishly, eager to make it up to Mark, unaware that all the while Mark had already closed them.  
  
**  
  
The following morning began as most mornings did in the trio’s apartment; Mark and Jackson rolled out of bed, Jackson took a shower while Mark cooked breakfast.

Things were the same, and yet they were completely different.

Mark usually cooked an extra helping for Jinyoung, leaving it next to him while Jinyoung read the morning paper.

But this time Jinyoung paid absolutely no attention to the plate.

Mark sat down to eat, staring curiously at the untouched plate in front of them.

“Not hungry?” Mark quipped, taking a bite of his hashbrowns.

“ Nope. ” Jinyoung replied quickly without his gaze wavering from the paper he was reading.

Mark remained silent, a bit taken back by the tone he just received.

Mark knew Jinyoung long enough to know that when someone was wrong, it was better to wait for Jinyoung to bring it up on his own - there was no way of getting anything from Jinyoung. His emotions were locked like a safe that only he had access to.

Mark simply chewed at his bacon and sipped his milk, knowing full well Jinyoung would crack.

“I heard you guys all night fucking.” He finally  spit out, putting the newspaper down swiftly.

Mark’s chewing slowed in  confusion, until he was finally able to swallow. “So?” He asked blankly.

Jinyoung must have heard them have sex a thousand times by now, he joked about it grossing him out but Mark knew he didn’t actually care. So why was he making a fuss out of it  now.

“It was loud...” he said frantically, searching more things to say, “and loud, yeah that’s it. I could barely sleep.”

He stood up and stormed to the sink where he tossed his mug into it, nearly shattering the ceramic cup in the process.

“Wow, you’re that upset?” Mark was still just as shocked.

“I just don’t want to hear it, okay? Just don’t do any of that stuff while I’m here.” He said, scrubbing the mug clean and rinsing it off.

“Sure .. I guess.” Mark answered shyly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just stop it okay?” He raised his voice.

Mark hasn’t seen Jinyoung upset in a while, this was concerning him more than usual.

“You want me to stop having sex with Jackson, or?...” Mark was wondering out loud in response to Jinyoung’s outburst, fighting away a timid laugh once he realized Jinyoung's level of frustration.

“I don’t know!” Jinyoung gritted his teeth, “Just leave me alone right now.”

He walked out of the room and nearly ran over a toweled and wet Jackson who was getting out of the shower from the hallway.

“Wow, what’s he upset about?” Jackson asked with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

Mark didn’t have an answer; he truthfully didn’t know if Jinyoung was actually upset about how loud or frequent Jackson and he had sex, or if it was the fact that Mark was having sex with other people in general.


	6. Six

A full day went by with Jinyoung gone; he hadn’t texted or called, or even tagged Mark in a meme on Facebook like he usually did. Mark knew in his heart something was wrong, but he wasn’t able to pinpoint it.

“You good, babe?” Jackson asked as he got ready to leave for the gym the next day, he flung a duffle bag over his shoulder and leaned down to tie his shoes.

“I’m okay.” Mark replied, standing at the door. “Just wondering where Jinyoung is, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry about him, babe. Whatever he’s going through, you know he can be moody sometimes. He’s probably at his parents’ place or sitting in some gaming café.” Jackson planted a wet kiss onto Mark’s cheek that made the redhead smile. “He’ll be okay. I’ll see you later on tonight, ok? We’re going to have dinner just like I promised. I’ll even cook for you when I’m back.”

Mark leaned into Jackson’s kiss and closed his eyes, feeling relieved that he wasn’t alone in that moment. “Okay. Deal. See you tonight.”

“Love you, handsome.” Jackson winked, leaving the house quickly.

“Love you too.” Mark said as he locked the door behind him.

*

Mark decided that while his two best friends were away, he would make some time for himself and catch up on school work that he had been neglecting.

He flipped his binder open and suddenly realized that his personal response essay for his English course was due by midnight the following day.

“Fuck.” Mark groaned to himself, he rolled onto his side and buried his head into the throw pillow on the couch. This meant that he was going to need to go to the school.

With his whole body and will fighting against it, Mark got properly dressed and left for school. Mark was a very methodical student; he was aware that he had the capability to do well, except he took that for granted, and usually liked to start projects and assignments the day before they were due.

With a huff, Mark slammed his bag onto the table and took his laptop, books, and pens out. He began organizing his notes from class and the assignment sheet he was given, but was soon interrupted by a small buzz on his phone.

Mark sighed at the interruption, but quickly focused once he realized it was a text from Jinyoung.

Jinyoungie (Mobile): What are you doing right now?

Mark stared at the pile of homework sitting on the table, begging to be done, but knew that if he told Jinyoung he was busy he may never get another chance to find out what exactly was going on with him.

Markie Pooh (Mobile): I’m just hanging out, reading a book.

Jinyoungie (Mobile): Meet me at the park in half an hour?

Mark paused before responding, wondering what Jinyoung wanted to meet him there for. It was their spot, no doubt, but it always had a more significant meaning attached to it.

Mark recalled the time he was accepted into his program at school, and he and Jinyoung got ice cream together to celebrate in the park.

Then there was the time Mark’s dad got sick, really sick, and Mark was worried he would lose his only father. Jinyoung sat on the bench in the park while Mark cried onto his lap.

Mark wasn’t sure what this meeting meant, nor was he sure he was ready to know.

Mark (Mobile): Sure. I’ll see you soon.

Mark packed his books up into his bag and left the library just as quickly as he had entered it.

**

By the time Mark pulled up to the park, he already spotted Jinyoung sitting near a tree, sprawled out onto a blanket in the sun.

Mark approached his comfy friend and stood directly over him, intentionally blocking out the sun. As soon as Jinyoung noticed he popped an eye open and saw Mark towering tall above him with a smug grin on his face.

“You’re in my sun.” Jinyoung said, faking an annoyed tone.

“What do you mean? I’m the brightest light in your life already.” Mark joked back, as he watched Jinyoung lying on the ground peacefully next to him.

Jinyoung had a medium sized camping pack next to him that looked full. Mark immediately imagined Jinyoung’s famous noodles and his stomach turned in hunger.

“So what’s up?” he asked Jinyoung, still eyeing the pack.

The park they were in was their favorite, for a number of reasons, but mostly because it was private. Not many people frequented that park, and the overhanging trees made the sun shine down only in specific pockets.

Animals usually stayed away, too, surprisingly. The birds that were there were usually just small ones, pecking at pieces of seeds and stick that were in the grass.

Jinyoung stared into the sky as he lay on his back, his arms stretched out behind his head as a pillow. Mark noticed small tufts of Jinyoung’s armpit hair peeking through his short sleeved shirt.

“Remember when we came here for the first time?” he asked. He smiled over at Mark slightly, waiting for a response.

Mark was glad to see that whatever was bugging Jinyoung the last little while was apparently not affecting him anymore.

“I do, yeah. You brought me here when my dad got sick. I remember because I couldn’t stop crying…” inside Mark’s throat a lump began to form as he spoke, cutting him off. He was always emotional when it came to Papa Tuan.

Nothing made him more afraid that day than the thought of losing his dad, and amidst the anxiety and sadness; Jinyoung was right next to him the whole time though, comforting him.

“I must’ve ruined your shirt that day with all of my tears. I’m sorry.” Mark choked out past his emotions, trying to laugh in order to not tear up.

“Come.” Jinyoung said, raising his one arm up to Mark, pulling him down with a gentle tug. Mark allowed himself to be dragged down. He found his spot next to Jinyoung, and lay neatly beside him, just close enough so their clothing brushed now and then.

“You know, I always thought it was so charming how unafraid you are to cry.” Jinyoung was speaking softer now that they were laying side by side, their heads mere inches away.

“Don’t embarrass me.” Mark whispered back.

“I’m serious Mark. You’re so in touch with your feelings, you aren’t scared to let yourself feel things and then just… be in those feelings. You don’t run from them or try to mask them by telling me ‘I’m fine.’ When I know that you aren’t.” he continued.

Mark’s heart warmed, he was always a sensitive person, even if people didn’t know it.

“It’s easy around you, because you are always there. And you’re so brave. It becomes a lot easier to open up when I know my words aren’t falling on deaf ears.” He replied, brushing Jinyoung’s arm gently.

Mark closed his eyes, listening to the birds chirp and the leaves wrinkle in the wind all around him, the hot sun beamed down and warmed his face like a nice hug from a blanket.

Jinyoung’s presence felt so soothing, especially after the absence of it for what felt like days – and not to mention the animosity and issues with Jackson.

Mark scooted closer to Jinyoung, his head resting slightly further than his body, nestling into the space between Jinyoung’s cheek and his shoulder. Mark could feel the heat from Jinyoung’s bare arms touching his skin, it was soft and inviting.

The clarity that Mark needed, and the efforts towards mending his relationship with Jackson only seemed to move further away, almost out of reach in that moment.

Mark was no stranger to blurring the lines of friendship and love, he knew he loved Jinyoung in that moment for whatever that meant, and whatever that entailed. He wasn’t even sure, it was just so painfully clear now that he loved him in all ways.

Except now the sort of hesitation and feelings of treading lightly had vanished; Mark saw the line between friends and lovers, and through the intense sense of care, love, and comfort he got from Jinyoung, he crossed that line happily.

Jinyoung’s hand floated extremely close to Mark’s, his fingers drumming against the blanket out of habit. Mark reached out with a finger and slid his own hand into his friend’s, interlocking their fingers together where Jinyoung happily and confidently accepted Mark’s hand, gripping it firmly and lovingly.

Mark felt a buzz in his pocket. He used his free hand to peek at his phone lock screen. It was Jackson.

Babe (Mobile): Hey, I’m just starting supper. We’re still on right? I hope you’re hungry.

“Oh, I brought you your favorite. I made noodles earlier and I figured you’d probably hate me if I didn’t give you any. They’re in my pack. Help yourself.” Jinyoung motioned over to the green pack.

Mark’s stomach groaned again. He caressed Jinyoung’s hand with his thumb lightly, thanking him for the picnic.

With his other hand, Mark quickly opened his phone.

Dimsum (Mobile): I’m really really sorry. I can’t do it tonight, just eat without me and I’ll eat when I get home. I just realized how much homework I have and I need to catch up before tomorrow. Talk later.

Babe (Mobile): Oh… okay… Well, love you. Get your work done. I’ll see you when you’re home.

Mark shut his phone off and clenched his jaw slightly.

“Want to eat now?” Jinyoung said, sitting up.

“Yeah, I’m starving.” Mark replied, his hand still entwined with Jinyoung’s.


	7. Seven

When Mark got home late, Jackson was already fast asleep. It was the same old same old now, Mark was getting used to coming home late and crawling into bed. Except this time, Jackson didn’t wait up.

*

The next morning Mark woke up later than usual. He heard some chatter outside in the kitchen and scurried to get dressed to see who it was.

“Oh c’mon you know you have to do _something._ ” Jackson groaned, his chin planted in between his hands as his elbows were rested on the kitchen’s marble island.

Jinyoung was sitting adjacent from him, a torn look on his face. Mark felt himself get nervous suddenly, as he joined the two slowly from the hall.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Jackson made a kissy face with his lips toward Mark to greet him. “I didn’t want to wake you up too early. I know you didn’t get home until late, and I know how stressful your schoolwork makes you, so I just left you to rest.”

Jinyoung shot a look at Mark, it was telling of confusion and disappointment.

“Good morning.” Mark greeted Jackson half-heartedly as he ignored Jinyoung’s look, trying to act more tired than he was to avoid any confrontation.

“I was just telling Jinyoung that he should celebrate his birthday here at the apartment. We don’t need to go out and be all extra and spend lots of money like we usually do.” Jackson seemed very into this idea, his eyes were large and his smile was infectious, but then again that’s just how Jackson was about every idea he had.

“And let me guess, you don’t want to celebrate your birthday this year?” Mark asked rhetorically as he grabbed a mug for his tea.

“It’s too much. I just want it to be… us.” Jinyoung finally answered. “Just the ones I care about the most, that’s all I need.”

Jackson piped in before Jinyoung could continue getting sentimental. “I think you should have a nice decent sized party here with us. We’ll invite old friends, new friends, etc. Besides, you’re always complaining that people call you Junior. Invite them to your birthday so they can see just how old you are now haha.”

“If I say I’ll think about it, will you leave me alone?” Jinyoung groaned, trying to continue reading his iPad.

“I’ll work on the invite list! Tomorrow night it’s going down!” Jackson beamed happily, taking off into the bathroom.

“Happy Early Birthday, Jinyoungie.” Mark said carefully, wanting to gauge his reaction.

“Thanks _Markie Pooh_.” Jinyoung whispered back. Mark liked the sound of that name, coming from Jinyoung, even though it was a name that only Jackson called him.

“Excited for tomorrow?” Mark wondered, sitting next to him for a moment.

Jinyoung put his iPad down and sighed a little, running his hand through his onyx black hair. “Like I said, I’d prefer to have it just… you know… _us.”_ He made a small motion with his hand between the two of them.

Mark realized what he meant.

“-Well” he stuttered, “Maybe it’ll be fun. Just trust Jackson’s intuition.”

“Cause that works out real well for _you_ , right?” Jinyoung shot back, a bit too carelessly as he soon realized.

Mark was slightly put off by that, and made it quite clear. “I suppose not.”

“Sorry.” Jinyoung backpedaled instantly, a hand reached out to grab Mark’s. Jinyoung rubbed his knuckles lovingly. “I just want it to be a good time, you know.”

Mark stared down at the hand, his eyes then wandering toward the bathroom door. “Yeah, I understand.” He said hesitantly.

*

The next day came quicker than Jinyoung was prepared for – bright and early Jackson was knocking at his door, which was strange in itself because Jackson wasn’t the type to respect boundaries or privacy usually, at least not for Jinyoung.

“Jinyounggggg.” Jackson sang excitedly outside the other’s door, tapping a few times with his knuckles. “Open up. I want to brag about my party planning skills.”

Jinyoung groaned and hid his face under his blanket. “Go away, I already saw the Facebook event you created on behalf of me. By the way, completely unnecessary! I told you, I just wanted a few people.”

“I’m not leaving. You have to let me in.” Jackson protested, standing at the door with his hand on his hip. His other hand tried at the door handle for a couple useless shakes. “Hurry, open up… _Junior._ ”

After fifteen seconds of silence the door unlocked and flung open, Jinyoung was standing there with an unimpressed gaze. “Don’t call me that.”

Jackson gave a toothy grin back, then placed his cellphone into Jinyoung’s hands.

“Here’s the list of everyone that’s coming.” He beamed proudly. “I even got that one guy you used to date to come – you know, the one you really liked but it never went anywhere.”

Jinyoung scanned the 30 names quickly, until he came to the one Jackson was referring to. His jaw clenched tightly, a sigh barely escaping through his teeth.

“I know, thank me later.” Jackson said, grabbing his phone back. “Everyone arrives in four hours, you better look good when they do! I’ll clean up and prepare.” He laughed as he retreated back to him and Mark’s room.

Jinyoung stood there still as can be, unsure of what he had signed up for.

“Hey babe, I’m just gonna go out for a little bit to pick up some drinks and some snacks for tonight. I really want to make sure Jinyoung has a good time. He’s been so moody lately. I think it’ll be good.” Jackson told Mark as he returned to the room. He began putting his jacket on.

Mark was still lying in bed, he wasn’t exactly in the mood to celebrate either. “Do you really think all this is necessary? How many people did you invite?”

“Ugh, not that many! I swear, you two are so much alike nowadays it’s crazy. Have some fun, lighten up!” Jackson said with a laugh and a head shake. He stepped over to the bed and gave Mark a quick smooth on his cheek. “I’ll be back in an hour. Text you the guestlist right away.”

“Alright, see you soon.” Mark replied.

A few minutes later Mark got a text from Jackson, it was the full list of everyone coming tonight. Mark scanned the names and recognized most of them as friends or mutual friends of Jinyoung’s. There was one name on the Facebook list that Mark wasn’t sure of though: Im Jaebum

Curious, Mark clicked his profile. The first thing he noticed was that Jaebum was incredibly handsome, almost intimidatingly so. The second thing he noticed was a post he had written in which he tagged Jinyoung in it: “Happy Birthday you handsome devil. Excited to see you, been too long. <3”

Mark’s mouth went dry. He immediately felt insecure – his face burned hot around his cheekbones.

As he stared down at his phone he wasn’t sure of what to make of the emotions he was feeling, they swirled around him in a confusing cluster. Part of Mark was happy Jinyoung was going to be celebrated, because he deserved to have a good time with friends.

Mark wasn’t able to deny the pang of jealousy that came from the handsome Facebook photo, the loving birthday wish, and definitely not from the comment underneath the post where Jinyoung replied “Excited to see you too.”


	8. Eight

When Jackson returned, Mark was still feeling pretty uneasy about the entire thing. He was curled up in bed with an uncomfortable look on his face.

Jackson pushed the door open, standing there staring down at Mark like he was a lost puppy.

“Honey, you good? Are you getting sick?” He asked, putting down the decorations and drinks on the carpet. He slid over and kneeled down where Mark was laying, placing the back of his hand on his boyfriend’s forehead. He wasn’t hot.

Mark wasn’t sure how to respond, because honestly he had no real legitimate reason for not wanting the party to happen.

“I just… I don’t know… do you think you should’ve invited that many people?” he mumbled out, nervously. “What if we get a noise complaint?”

Jackson seemed just as puzzled now, “Um… we’ve had wilder parties than anything that could happen tonight. I only invited a handful of people. Besides, we have concrete walls, when have we ever gotten a complaint?”

Jackson stood up and retreated to the kitchen, realizing that Mark’s discomfort was hardly founded. “You’re acting weird Mark. Go take a shower, you’ll feel better. I think you need a drink too, to be honest.”

Mark groaned, and then summoned himself out of bed. He dragged his feet to the bathroom and turned the shower on. As he undressed, he couldn’t help but feel a ball of nerves in his stomach; his mind kept wandering to Jinyoung, then to Jackson, and he couldn’t help but wonder about this new guy, Jaebum.

He stared at himself in the mirror – feeling as though his feelings were having a war under his skin. On top of all of the animosity that was going on inside of Mark was also the feeling of guilt, as though he wasn’t allowed or didn’t have the right to even be upset.

“Ugh, this is so stupid. C’mon Mark.” He whispered to himself, staring directly into his own eyes inches away from the mirror. With a huge breath out, he entered the shower.

It was going to be an interesting night, he knew that much.

**

Yugyeom was the first to arrive – when he showed up he walked right in without knocking, just as he usually did. He ran up and gave Mark a huge hug, then punched Jackson in the shoulder lovingly.

A few other of Jackson and Jinyoung’s mutual friends arrived, mostly people from their elementary that kept in touch here and there. Jackson was a good planner in the sense that he invited both couples and single people, and he made sure that people who came weren’t all friends, to give people a chance to meet new friends.

Mark could hear the volume level get louder and louder over the span of twenty minutes as more and more people showed up, their voices echoing through the apartment.

Mark was still in the bedroom, pretending that he didn’t know what to wear. He heard Youngjae arrive and begin singing, and he couldn’t help but smile.

There was a knock at the door, BamBam’s voice chirped from behind the heavy door.

“Let me in.” He demanded.

Mark was used to this now – BamBam always seemed to be the one to notice when Mark was trying to bail on plans or parties. He called out that the door was unlocked, and BamBam pushed his way in promptly.

“Let me guess, you’re sick?” He said, sitting down next to Mark, who was still curled up in bed.

“I can’t decide what to wear…” Mark sighed, knowing Bam probably wouldn’t buy it.

“Yeah whatever, liar.” He snapped back as he began rummaging through Mark’s closet.

He flipped through a bunch of Mark and Jackson’s shared wardrobe.

“Damn, there’s thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes in here.” He exclaimed as he finally grabbed an outfit from the hangers, “Color me impressed.”

He proudly walked back to the bed and tossed the outfit down on the bed roughly. “Put this on.” He instructed Mark.

Mark smiled in defeat and began to change. BamBam had chosen a really nice black dress shirt that was embellished with silk patterns down the front and back.

Mark slipped into the shirt slowly, “So… who’s all out there?” he asked curiously.

“Same old same old.” BamBam replied. “You know… Jinyoung’s boring friends from church, some older couple, the boys, and then… a really, really hot guy showed up just as I was leaving to find you.”

Mark’s pulse sped up, he quickly pulled the dark wash jeans up his legs and buttoned them.

“Do you know who he was?” He asked slowly. “Like, what’s his name?”

BamBam wasn’t the kind of person to make comments on how someone looked. BamBam had impeccable style, and an incredibly picky taste in looks – long story short, he was vain as hell.

The fact that BamBam even brought up this guy’s looks meant that there was something there worth mentioning.

Mark immediately saw Jaebum’s face in his mind, not wanting to admit that that’s probably who BamBam was referring to.

“How would I know his name? I don’t pay attention to that stuff.” BamBam shot back, “I just know he had the cutest birth marks: two of them, right by his eye.”

Mark’s worries became a reality. He suddenly felt even more like staying in his room all night.

“Oh, nice. Glad people showed up.” He quickly said to BamBam, ushering the younger man out of the room. “I’m just going to go make sure Jinyoung is all good and ready.”

Panicked, and on his way through the hallway to Jinyoung’s room, Mark caught sight of exactly who he suspected was there: Im Jaebum.

The young man was wearing a leather jacket, and had his jet black hair sleek and styled backward in a perfect quaff. He had a few piercings and what looked like a tattoo on his chest, peeking out from under his collar.

Mark couldn’t help but to stare, he stood there in silence , transfixed on Jaebum, watching the young man’s movements. Jaebum smiled deeply with his eyes, they transformed into half-moons that completely changed his face from tough and sexy to soft and cheerful.

“Hey.” A voice interrupted Mark’s obvious staring.

It was Jinyoung, and he looked incredible.

“Wow.” Mark’s lips parted slowly. “You look awesome.”

“BamBam” they both almost said quietly to themselves at the exact same time.

Jinyoung was wearing a silk black dress shirt that was loosely flowing around his body, but hugged his shoulders at just the right places.

His hair was parted on the side and curled in a way that was both cute yet stylish.

“So, there’s a lot of people showing up. This isn’t even all of them.” Mark lead the conversation, looking out into the living room area where fifteen or so people were already congregating.

“Yeah, Jackson sure did invite everyone.” Jinyoung responded. He looked over the crowd until his eyes locked with Jaebum’s for a second. He paused, almost unable to speak.

Mark noticed almost instantly, and it made him nervous.

“Do you know him?” Mark tried to mask the angst in his voice.

Jinyoung practically ignored Mark’s question, taking a half step toward the young man.

“He’s…” Jinyoung whispered at a slow pace, “An old friend of mine, that’s all. I’ll be right back, sorry.”

Jinyoung glided toward Jaebum, where the strange new boy embraced Jinyoung with a large and tight hug.

Mark’s face warmed at the cheeks, getting hot and red. He stood in the hallway alone, feeling like he was invisible.

“Are you gonna have a drink with me or just stand there like a statue all night?” Yugyeom was suddenly next to Mark, handing a red solo cup his way. Mark was unbothered.

“I’m serious, don’t try to weasel out of this party too.” Yugyeom warned with a cute pout, he noticed that Mark wasn’t exactly paying attention.

“Oh, him. He’s hot right?” He suddenly said, referring to Jaebum. Mark’s interest couldn’t help but to be piqued.

“Who is he?” Mark asked, he realized he probably sounded a bit _too_ curious about Jaebum.

“Wait you don’t know?” Yugyeom took a sip of his drink, clearly surprised. “I thought you and Jinyoung were best friends and all.”

“He’s never mentioned him, alright?” Mark retorted, his feelings getting a bit hurt.

“Mark… they used to date.” Yugyoem raised an eyebrow, then walked away quickly.


	9. Nine

Mark froze, he felt stunned, and it was as though Yugyeom had just winded him.

He clenched his jaw and walked directly to Jinyoung’s room, pushing the door open carelessly.

“Hey.” He said in a low tone, but one that demanded answers.

Jinyoung was in the middle of putting his cologne on. He squirted a quick spritz onto his wrist and rubbed it with his other.

“Hey, what’s up?” He said, quite jovial. His mood change when he saw how serious Mark was looking.

“Something wrong…?” he asked, his eyebrow starting to raise.

Mark wasn’t sure how to bring it up, his anger had brought him this far, but in his haste hadn’t even thought of what to say.

“Um, you didn’t tell me you dated Jaebum.” He spoke shyly, his confidence wavering.

Jinyoung seemed very surprised, for a number of reasons.

“Wait, he’s here now?!” was the first question out of his mouth, which Mark wasn’t happy about, noticing the sparkle in Jinyoung’s eyes, and the excitement in his body language upon hearing Jaebum’s name.

“How did you know I even dated him?” was Jinyoung’s next question, after he had realized just what Mark was digging at. “And how do you even know who he is?”

By now Mark’s arms were crossed, “That’s exactly what I’m asking, Jinyoung. How could you not tell me about him?”

There was a stagnant air between the two, Jinyoung’s eyes seemed to be searching past Mark’s eyes, past the doorway and into the hallway, almost as though he was searching for Jaebum while they were talking.

Mark’s eyes rolled, “I thought we told each other everything.”

It wasn’t so much a question but a statement, and it seemed to almost fall upon deaf ears.

JInyoung pulled his attention back, but only enough to give Mark a quick answer, that was exactly what he didn’t want.

“Agh, Mark. I’m sorry. I’ll explain it later, k? I have a bunch of people who will be upset if I don’t get out there.” He side stepped Mark through the door and left before Mark could even protest.

As he left, Jinyoung’s sweet cologne whiffed past Mark’s face.

“You mean Jaebum will be upset if you don’t go out there.” Mark spoke under his breath as Jinyoung left, knowing he wouldn’t hear, and even if he did, wouldn’t care much.

Mark’s cheeks flared up, rosy patches of blood furled under his skin.

*

Mark made his way into the kitchen a little while later after he had calmed down some, knowing full well Jackson would have a completely stocked fridge full of alcoholic refreshments at the ready.

“There’s my handsome.” Jackson greeted him. The younger boy was carrying bottles to the table where he was concocting a large glass bowl full of a mystery beverage.

Mark felt bad knowing just how much effort Jackson was putting into the party and how little people seemed to care or notice.

“Hey.” Mark said back, reaching out grab hands with his boyfriend.

Jackson immediately stopped everything he was doing and grabbed onto Mark’s hands, pulling himself in to embrace the boy. He kissed the top of Mark’s head, making the other boy close his eyes and rest his face into Jackson’s neck.

“Feeling better?” Jackson whispered down into Mark’s ear.

The short answer was no, and as much as Mark wanted to say just that, he couldn’t deny how much better he felt being in Jackson’s arms, feeling him lay tiny kisses onto the hair covering Mark’s forehead.

“Yeah a little” he whispered back, “I could use a drink though, I think you were right.”

“Say no more.” Jackson said excitedly. “I am just finishing my ‘Jackson-Juice.’”

Mark giggled as Jackson pulled away and headed back to the large bowl. It was a mixture of blues and yellows. Mark read the bottles’ labels, realizing it was some sort of Hawaiian looking punch.

Jackson ladled a generous amount into a red solo cup, tossed some ice chunks in it, then kissed the rim before presenting it to Mark like some sort of royal servant.

Mark took the cup and looked in it, sloshing it around some before taking a sip; it was cold and refreshing, and incredible sweet. It was good.

“Wow, not bad.” He said nodding in approval as he took a bigger drink.

Jackson smirked, then poured himself one. “I hope Jinyoung likes it. I know he enjoys Malibu rum, so I decided to make this for him.”

“Well, I think he’s preoccupied.” Mark said sourly, sipping the drink again to make sure he didn’t continue.

“Yeah, looks like he’s having fun. He’s over there talking to an old friend.” Jackson informed Mark, pointing with a pinky from his drink. Jackson seemed pleased at this.

  
Mark didn’t bother to look, he already knew who it was and was able to imagine just how happy and excited Jinyoung would be, and it killed him to know just how hot Jaebum was looking too.

The same hot feeling Mark experienced earlier was coming back, but this time Mark wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or his feelings.

He grabbed Jackson’s hand, to the younger’s surprise, then led him over to the large living room where everyone was dancing and singing.

Without a second look, he passed by Jinyoung and Jaebum who were laughing near the table, and couldn’t help but notice Jaebum had a very comfortable hand on Jinyoung’s lower back.

Mark closed his eyes, leading Jackson into the center of the room where he began to dance, swaying his body seductively to the reggae music that was currently playing.

Mark was a phenomenal dancer, and everybody knew it, the only thing odd was that he hardly ever demonstrated unless he was incredibly drunk, or he was competing.

Mark was neither drunk, but for a split second, he felt the competitiveness in his blood fueling his movements. He was moving with such determination that Jackson needed to put his drink down to match his tempo.

“Ugh, I love when you dance.” Jackson said with a laugh. “I knew my Jackson Juice was perfect.”

The couple danced in circles, Jackson’s hands gripped firmly on his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him in close so that their thighs rubbed every now and again as they flowed together to the music.

Jinyoung’s eyes shot a quick, inquisitive glance over once he heard the cheering and wooing coming from the other end of the apartment. He was still engaged in conversation with Jaebum, but had his eyes escaping his gaze to see what was going on.

Mark just happened to be staring over in Jinyoung’s direction at the same time – the pair locked glances for what felt like a few seconds, just long enough to both acknowledge that they saw each other – it was Mark who looked away first, going back to his original plan of dancing with Jackson as sexy as he could.

“Babe” Jackson growled lowly, his grip getting tighter. “I don’t know if I should be dancing like this, I’ll get too excited. You know I can’t control myself.” He was whispering into Mark’s ear now, the heat from Mark’s neck dampening his skin with light sweat.

“Kiss me?” Mark said shyly, his eyes winking a little.

“You suck.” Jackson said, giving up on his objection.

The couple kissed, but it wasn’t a shy or quick kiss, it was a confident and purposeful kiss. Mark’s eyes were closed and his rhythm was slowing down so he could focus.

Jackson’s muscular arms were supporting Mark’s head, directing the red head’s face into his own, pulling Mark into the kiss so that it was deeper than usual.

“Get a room guys!” BamBam chirped from the side of the dancing space. “On second thought, no, don’t get a room because you guys won’t come out for the remainder of the night. Just stop.”

BamBam’s scoffing comments made Jackson smile into the kiss, he felt eyes staring at them even though people were dancing all around them.

“He’s right you know, we better cool it.” Jackson echoed. “Save this for me later, k?”

Mark nodded, kissing Jackson’s lips one last time. His hair was matted down now from the sweat and heat. His cheeks were still hot and burning, he could tell he was getting a bit carried away.

Before they could part, Jinyoung approached.

“Jackson, thanks for all of this.” He said motioning to the entire apartment. “This is awesome.”

“See, I told you! Jackson turns it OUT baby.” Jackson was flexing a bicep and grinning happily. “Yo you try some of my blue Hawaiian punch?”

Jinyoung shook his head obliviously. “Nope, not yet.”

“Excuse me? C’mon! I’ll make you one right now.” Jackson headed away, waiting for Jinyoung to follow.

“Uhh, Jackson!” Jinyoung called after him, “How about you just make me one and I’ll come see you in a few minutes and try it. I gotta do something quickly.”

He turned his face back to Mark, who wasn’t looking very impressed.

“We need to talk.” Jinyoung’s tone was completely different now. “Alone.”

Mark was nervous as Jinyoung pulled onto his hand and led him out of the living room and towards the balcony.


	10. Ten

Jinyoung tugged Mark’s wrist like a toddler, weaving through the crowd at a determined and steady pace until they reached the window to the balcony.

“Go.” He demanded with a quick flick of his eyebrows. His face was hard but looked a little nervous.

Mark grumbled under the sudden aggression Jinyoung was giving off, but obeyed nonetheless.

When they were out on the balcony Mark instantly started shivering at the cool night breeze. They were ten floors up, not high enough to get an incredible view, but still high enough that you’d die if you fell over the edge.

Mark stared out into the night skyline of downtown, gritting his teeth to keep himself from shivering any more.

“What the hell was that about?” Jinyoung spit out, he was sounding more and more annoyed every minute they spent together, Mark thought.

“What was what?” Mark contested, his eyes turning away to look out at the other side of the view.

“Don’t play stupid.” Jinyoung walked over to Mark until they were side by side, his face inches from Mark’s cheek. “What are you _doing?_ ”

Mark’s eyes shut as a reflex to Jinyoung’s words, deep down he knew there was truth in it all. Mark wasn’t innocent.

“Oh, now you notice?” Mark scoffed finally, turning his face to meet Jinyoung’s gaze. “I didn’t think you even knew anyone else in this apartment existed except Jaebum.”

Jinyoung clicked his tongue and nodded, taking a few steps away from Mark, “So that’s what this is about…”

Mark’s breathing seemed quicker, and his nostrils flared as though he was fighting against something inside of himself, something that wanted to tell Jinyoung everything he was feeling.

“I don’t get you, Mark.” Jinyoung was still shaking his head lightly. “What about Jaebum, huh? What about him?”

“You lied to me Jinyoung.” Mark’s voice cut through the air even though it was monotone and hard.

“No I didn’t. I just didn’t tell you.”

“That’s literally the definition of lying – not telling the truth.”

“It was none of your business.”

“I thought we told each other everything. At least, I know I did.”

“Really?” Jinyoung walked back over to Mark, pinning him into the corner of the balcony. “So why don’t you explain to me exactly what’s been happening these last two weeks, huh?”

Mark felt suddenly nervous and a little bit small while being cornered by Jinyoung. Although he had a beautiful and soft face, Jinyoung was scary when he was upset.

“W-What do you mean?” He choked out, Jinyoung was now half a foot from him, and leaning in closer.

“You know exactly what I mean.” Jinyoung didn’t miss a beat. “The dancing, the grinding, the resting your shoulder on my lap..”

“That’s stuff I always do, you know that.” Mark tried to defend himself. Jinyoung barely gave him a chance before cutting through his weak words.

“Yeah? What about holding my hand, the lingering gazes, the rubbing into me, the nicknames, and you suddenly want to hang out with me without Jackson around?”

“What are you saying?” Mark was starting to feel somewhat attacked, and it showed on his tensed jaw.

“I just-“ Jinyoung pushed himself further into Mark, pinning the boy’s back against the cement wall of the balcony. Jinyoung’s two hands firmly cupped Mark’s lower head and neck, there was a tense and unsure moment between them for a split second as Jinyoung’s eyes stared deeply into Mark’s frantically searching around his face as if he wasn’t sure exactly what was happening.

Mark allowed himself to be pinned against the wall, and although he was nervous he stood his ground. Then Jinyoung exhaled as if he’d been holding his breath forever and pulled at Mark’s head harder.

Mark’s initial reaction was to freeze his neck out of confusion, but his hesitation only lasted a moment before the yearning, fluttering feeling in his stomach that screamed to kiss Jinyoung was too much to bear.

He allowed himself to be pulled in; Jinyoung crashed his lips against Mark’s as if he needed Mark’s kiss in order to breathe, in order to be okay in that moment.

Mark closed his eyes and melted away all of the tension he was holding in his body, allowing Jinyoung to kiss deeply into him. The kiss lasted fifteen seconds, and as Jinyoung slowly released the pressure between them, their lips parting from being stuck together for a brief moment, Mark was the one who licked his lips quickly and nearly lunged himself back into Jinyoung to continue.

Overcome with a hungering desire for Jinyoung, one that couldn’t be explained or quantified, Mark emptied his mind of anything around him – all the tension, the anxiety, the feelings of anger, of jealousy, and of guilt that he would’ve otherwise felt. Nothing else mattered as Jinyoung moved his hands from Mark’s neck down his back and around his waist in a firm grasp, pulling Mark’s body into his.

Jinyoung’s stomach brushed Mark’s slightly as they kissed, exciting Mark. They titled their heads opposite of each other as they kissed in a sort of synchronized dance.

Mark’s abdomen swirled with nervous excitement; it seemed almost surreal that he was doing this with Jinyoung. They were best friends for so long, and although Mark hadn’t ever believed something like this would happen, he couldn’t deny that he had imagined what it would be like before.

And it wasn’t anything like he thought – it was so much more. As the tip of his tongue met Jinyoung’s, the wet softness of it meeting his with curiosity, Mark could sense that Jinyoung wanted to explore the moment as much as he could too.

Rather than push Jinyoung away or pull his head away, Mark surrendered to the entire experience. All of the fragile moments between the two boys up until this point were always, always going to lead here, he thought.

The tension and anger between the two melted away, and Mark could almost pinpoint the second that Jinyoung crossed the line between friends and something more. It was when Jinyoung lifted a hand to Mark’s chin; his thumb rubbing gently against chin and jaw equally as delicate.

Mark had never known any of Jinyoung’s boyfriends, not even Jaebum. He had never seen Jinyoung with anyone in this sort of way.

He shuddered ever so slightly at the romantic side of Jinyoung he was getting, and blushed deep down knowing he was the object of Jinyoung’s affection. It was a feeling that was all too alluring to Mark.

Jinyoung’s eyes were only open for a second before he closed them again to take a small breath and continue kissing into Mark’s parted mouth.

Mark’s concept of their surroundings, the timing, the risk, and the situation were still skewed; he didn’t seem to care or notice that he was now subconsciously wrapping his arms around Jinyoung’s neck, pulling himself into the kiss.

“Mark” Jinyoung finally breathed out quietly between their hurried kisses, Mark wasn’t sure of exactly how long they had been attached at the lips.

Mark paused and began to come back to earth, “What’s wrong?”

Mark was expecting Jinyoung to have a worried and guilt-ridden look on his face, one that would almost definitely make Mark feel the same, but when he met eyes with Jinyoung, the young man was smiling.

“I’ve got a bit of a situation.” He glanced down, his face didn’t seem completely embarrassed, but was more telling of someone that wanted to show off.

Mark trailed his eyes down, noticing that Jinyoung was sporting a thick bulge through his jeans. Mark realized then in that moment that he too was tight in the groin area.

“Hey.” Jinyoung pulled his attention back to his eyes. “Let’s go to my room.”

Mark’s pulse began to quicken even more than it was before. His lips quivered as he searched for an answer.

It might’ve been the alcohol coursing through his veins, the overwhelming excitement in his body and dick, or the small wet kiss that Jinyoung pecked onto his cheek as he whispered, “C’mon” that made Mark nod and follow his best friend back inside the party from the balcony.

Jinyoung untucked his shirt and let it fall in front of his waist to hide his obvious excitement. Mark followed behind closely to hide his own situation. They made their way quickly back through the crowd of drunk people in the living room, Mark smiled and nodded at a few friends as he followed Jinyoung towards the bedroom.

Jinyoung popped the door open and held it open, Mark stepped inside the dark room and Jinyoung smiled, closing the door behind the two.

Yugyeom was just leaving the bathroom at that moment, observing the pair heading into the room at the dark end of the hallway. He sipped his beer and watched curiously as the door closed behind them.


	11. Eleven

The closed just as quickly as it opened, with Mark trailing behind Jinyoung swiftly and obediently.  
Jinyoung turned only one light on, a small side table lamp that was sitting atop his dresser. Mark had hung out in Jinyoung’s room a few times before, but was always so impressed by how neat and clean it was, as if it was the first time he’d seen it before.  
Mark took a somewhat nervous seat on Jinyoung’s bed, the navy blue duvet was large and overly-soft. He wasn’t sure what to do next - he still wasn’t sure what exactly was happening.  
Jinyoung was standing in front of his walk in closet. His back was to Mark as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt one by one, until the cotton shirt slid off his body and fell to the floor.  
Jinyoung wrenched his neck to the side slowly until it cracked, letting out a relieved sigh. He reached both arms into the air and stretched them out for a goof five seconds, they flexed as he did, showing off a rigid display of smooth muscles.  
Mark leaned back into the bed instinctively, unsure what exactly he was going to do as he watched his best friend undress.  
Jinyoung turned around and stood silently in front of Mark, whose eyes still hadn’t left the boy’s body, they traced the outline of Jinyoung’s shoulders and his hard chest.  
Jinyoung let out a soft huff, his waist was uniquely thin and muscular, and his stomach was flat with ridged abs. Jinyoung followed Mark’s eyes, looking down at his own body with a hint of pride.  
Mark was unsure why Jinyoung spent so much time with a shirt on at all - it was obvious to everyone that he had a nice body - it was just out of character for Jinyoung to boast about what he had, Mark guessed.  
“You can touch it, you know.”  
The words interrupted Mark’s visual feast, he suddenly pulled himself back into the moment, and saw Jinyoung staring right at him.  
“My body… you can touch it if you want…” Jinyoung repeated, he took a step toward Mark.  
Mark swallowed dryly, watching as his best friend closed the gap between them, Mark fidgeting a little where he sat at the edge of the bed.  
“What’s wrong?” Jinyoung asked quietly, not stopping his advance one iota. “You’ve seen my body a million times, and I’m pretty sure you’ve even seen _it._ ”  
Mark blushed and pursed his lips to make it less obvious he was nervous; he was grateful that the light was dim enough to hide any blood that was rushing to his face.  
It was true though, there were more than a number of occasions that Mark caught a glimpse of Jinyoung naked, whether it was because he walked by Jinyoung’s door just as the boy was getting out of the shower, and the reflection of the mirror was perfectly aligned with the crack of the door being open, or the nights that Jinyoung would get too drunk to get home safely, so Mark would lay him down and undress him slowly, only to find out that Jinyoung went commando that day.  
Thinking back on it, Mark was never turned on by Jinyoung in those moments, because in those moments he was nothing more than Jinyoungie, a best friend.  
But with the same train of thought, Mark’s feelings pushed his mind into a different place, the same place it was in when they were on the balcony. It was a place where the line between friends and something more was nonexistent or, at the very least, blurred.  
“You’re right. I have seen it before.” Mark whispered, his eyes trailing up Jinyoung’s hard stomach. “And I’ve always wondered what it felt like.”  
Jinyoung’s smirk came back, and the wrinkles near his eyes scrunched in happiness.  
“Go ahead.” He spoke down at Mark softly, picking his hand up to guide Mark’s. First he placed Mark’s hand on his cheek, nuzzling into it a little bit before letting it fall passed his lips and to his chin, then down the nape of his neck and over his collar bones.  
Jinyoung’s hand pushed down with a delicate urgency, over his chest, brushing his nipple gently, and over the tufts of hair that marked the start of Jinyoung’s waistband.  
Mark didn’t realize it, but he was running his tongue over the bottom of his lip unknowingly as he let Jinyoung slowly pop the top bottom off his pants. The tension of the waistband collapsed and the pants fell half an inch, exposing the blue boxer briefs he was wearing underneath.  
Mark went ahead and grabbed the flaps of the fly on each side of Jinyoung’s hips, helping his friend push down the denim until it slid instantaneously to the floor and bunched up around Jinyoung’s feet.  
The boy stepped out of them gracefully and tossed them to the side with a stiff flick of his foot. He was now standing in front of Mark with nothing but his underwear on, of which was framing his mouthwatering bulge perfectly.  
Mark closed his eyes and took a slight moment to catch his breath, almost like he was about to do something incredibly dangerous; maybe he was, he thought.  
With a timid and shaky confidence, he ran both hands around Jinyoung’s ass, each with its own firm handful. He loosened his grip and traced his hands from the backside of Jinyoung to his front, running a hand over Jinyoung’s erection. The bulge pulsed slightly at the contact, up until now Jinyoung was acting cool and in control, but the first touch of his dick by his best friend proved to be too much to contain. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back until he was facing the ceiling, a deep and sharp exhale left his mouth.  
Mark, although seasoned in sex with Jackson, suddenly felt as though he was a virgin, unsure of what to do next. He was in unchartered territory now, and although he wasn’t sure exactly what was going to happen, he knew one thing: he didn’t want to stop.  
Jinyoung placed a hand on top Mark’s, then squeezed both of their hands over top his dick, making sure Mark had a good grip.  
Mark had only seen Jinyoung naked while he was flaccid, and wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when it came to Jinyoung being hard. Now that he had the answer gripped tightly in his palm, he couldn’t help but to think about how thick it was.  
Jinyoung was never the type to show off, but with Mark it was a whole different story - Jinyoung seemed to get off on the idea of showing off to Mark. He sure had a lot to be proud of, Mark thought, and although it was different from how Jinyoung typically acted, it was incredibly hot.  
“What do you think?” Jinyoung asked in his deep and airy soft voice, he tightened their combined grasp again, shaking it a little this time.  
Mark’s lips parted involuntarily, he felt the arousal in his own pants flare up again. It was like a shot of adrenaline was just injected directly into his veins.  
“Wow” is all that Mark could reply, it was simple and direct, but seemed to please Jinyoung nonetheless.  
“Wanna kiss it?”  
Mark felt almost angry at that obvious question; He wanted nothing more in the world than to kiss it in that moment.  
With a slight tilt of his head, and his hands finding their way back to Jinyoung’s ass, he pulled the boy’s waist closer to his face, placing his lips tenderly against the centimetre of cotton that separated the two’s skin.  
He laid a few extremely delicate kisses against Jinyoung, dragging his bottom lip over the stiff bulge, his air exhaling hotly against the boy. Jinyoung’s hand was placed lightly against Mark’s cheek, his thumb caressing the boy’s cheekbone gently as he kissed away.  
Mark’s hands began to scratch gently against the tight waistband of Jinyoung’s underwear, slithering themselves underneath the band, adjusting slightly until his fingers were on both sides of Jinyoung’s hips, pulling down slowly on the fabric.  
  
“ _Yeah don’t worry I’ll get him!_ ” Yugyeom’s voice was especially loud in that moment as he approached from the hallway, stopping outside the door of the bedroom.  
With two stern knocks on the door, he shouted inside roughly, “ _Jinyoung! I’m coming in!_ ”  
  
Mark’s hands rocketed back to himself in the same moment that Jinyoung pulled away, heading for the bathroom as quickly as he could.  
Mark scrambled back into the bed and laid his head on the pillow, his heart thundering in his chest, almost causing him to get lightheaded.  
The door swung open gracelessly, and Yugyeom immediately turned the light on, nearly blinding Mark, who, until now had spent the majority of the night in darkness.  
“Mark, where’s Jinyoung?” He demanded. He had a red solo cup in his hand, that looked quite dark. Mark guessed Yugyeom was drinking rum again - not a good sign.  
“He’s…” Mark began, his heart was still drumming away a million beats a minute in his chest, he swore Yugyeom could probably hear it even from where he was standing.  
Just then Mark heard the tinkling of the shower against the tile in the bathroom.  
“He’s in the shower.” Mark sputtered out, pointing over toward the door of Jinyoung’s bathroom. Mark’s voice sounded somewhat annoyed, he figured it would look better than surprised. “I dropped a drink on him, so he’s all sticky. He needs to clean it off before he goes back out there.”  
“Yeah well his friend JB is looking for him.” Yugyeom responded, his hand on his hip expectantly. “Why are you even in here alone while he’s showering?”  
“I felt bad, ok? It’s whatever, I’ll tell him when he’s out alright.” Mark answered sharply, his eyebrows angled in annoyance.  
“Fine.” Yugyeom replied stoutly, he turned to leave the room and then stopped himself before turning back around with a smug expression on his face. “Oh, and Mark? You better not give me that fucking attitude. I know you all treat me like a child, but I’m not an idiot.”  
Mark’s throat went dry as he stared down Yugyeom, his jaw tightening.  
“Your boyfriend’s out there looking for you, I suggest you go and be with him.” Yugyeom’s eyes suddenly darted toward the clothes that were on the ground. “I know that shirt and those pants aren’t yours. Care to explain why Jinyoung stripped outside the bathroom with you before ‘showering’?” Yugyeom’s air-quotes on the word ‘showering’ made Mark’s blood boil, he couldn’t stand the fact that he was wrong and there was nothing he could do or say to change that fact.  
He rolled his eyes to keep from looking any more ashamed than he already suspected he looked, “You really _are_ an idiot if you think that’s what’s going on here, Yuggie.”  
Yugyeom didn’t look phased as Mark walked past him and out of the room, instead he just scoffed and closed the door, following Mark back through the hallway and into the crowd of people.


	12. Chapter 12

Mark’s mission once he returned to the party was simple: get drunk, hopefully forget what just happened.  
He hadn’t even taken the first sip of his new drink before he felt a pair of cold hands slide underneath his shirt from behind, pulling him into a hug.  
“Guess who.” Jackson whispered, his voice was sultry, Mark could instantly smell the alcohol on his boyfriend’s breath. “I missed you, where did you go?”  
Although Jackson was hardheaded and goofy, he was a boyfriend with a tendency to become a passionate, lovey-dovey, cheese-ball when he was drinking. This was a perfect example of that.  
“Hmm? Where were you? I looked all over for that handsome face of yours babe?” He breathed out deeply, still back-hugging Mark.  
As much as he tried, Mark couldn’t fight the smile that was itching its way onto his mouth when Jackson nuzzled his face deeper into the boy’s neck, breathing out and sending shivers down the boy’s spine.  
“I was just helping Jinyoung. I spilled beer on him that’s all... I had to um- help him wash it off. I felt bad.” Mark’s smile faded as soon as he realized he was lying now. It was a feeling that was all too familiar, but still stung just as much as the first time.  
“Poor guy, you really are clumsy. Although, I’m sure I am the one who has gotten the brunt of your clumsy wrath.” Jackson chuckled as he let go of Mark and stepped around him.  
“How is it out there?” Mark filled the silence with small talk, his nerves still buzzing as he sipped his drink.  
“Fun. There’s a guy here that was asking for Jinyoungie earlier. Not gonna lie... he was pretty cute.” Jackson snickered as he spoke, taking a drink of his cup playfully as he winked at Mark.  
Mark’s annoyance came back almost immediately upon hearing that, the hot tension in his body pressed against his chest and tensed his jaw up.  
“Who cares?” He shot back, his tone was venomous.  
Jackson raised a brow, just as playfully, “Wow. That sounded pointed. What’s wrong?”  
Mark rolled his eyes and attempted to leave the small apartment kitchen, but stopped as soon as Jackson grabbed a hold of his wrist.  
“Babe babe babe just waaaaait.” Jackson protested, holding tightly onto his boyfriend’s arm. “You’re not jealous... are you?”  
Mark closed his eyes for a second to exhale deeply; Jackson’s question was a punch in the throat, leaving Mark dumbfounded.  
Does he know?  
Before Mark could answer, Jackson spoke again, releasing the grip on Mark’s arm.  
“I only said it as a joke honey, he’s not that cute all right.” Jackson was sounding more and more sorry. “Besides... You’re much cuter. Promise.”  
Jackson’s eyes were large and brown, falling slightly as he stared at Mark.  
“Please don’t be upset.” He pleaded lowly, planting small kisses onto Mark’s knuckle playfully.  
Mark felt a small cold rush of relief wash over him.  
He doesn’t know.  
Mark cleared his throat, it relieved him to hear Jackson thought he was mad about the dumb “cute” comment about Jaebum, but now had to justifying his current emotions.  
“I’m sorry. It struck a nerve, all right? Maybe I should stop drinking.” Mark replied, placing the cup onto the counter.  
“So you’re not mad?” Jackson scrunched his face up cutely, leaning his head onto Mark’s shoulder.  
“Not mad.” Mark echoed, a cheesy smile forming on his face.  
“Good. I’ve never known you to be the jealous type, usually it’s me that’s crazy jealous.”  
Mark didn’t respond to that, he knew that fact all too well.  
“Do you wanna go... you know...” Jackson then asked, his mischievous grin returning, he motioned at their bedroom down the hallway.  
Mark shook his head almost immediately, the thought of having sex with Jackson tonight made him anxious.  
“I think I will go lay down, actually. I’m not feeling well. Think the alcohol is mixing poorly.”  
Jackson was clearly saddened by this news, but respected Mark’s decision.  
“Okay babe, go lay down. I’ll stay out here and entertain our guests. Get some rest.” Jackson reassured him, planting a slightly wet kiss onto Mark’s forehead.  
Mark nodded sleepily and headed to the room. The entire way to the bedroom had Mark’s guilt intensifying at just how oblivious and understanding Jackson was being.  
Once Mark had disappeared into the room, Jinyoung emerged from his own after having sat in the bathroom toilet seat stupidly while the shower ran for ten minutes empty.  
“Hey!” Jackson was eager to greet him as Jinyoung moseyed back into the party.  
Jinyoung wasn’t exactly happy to run into Jackson; before he could even respond to the boy, Yugyeom had reappeared.  
“Yeah, welcome back to the party Jinyoung.” Yugyeom’s voice sounded sarcastic and a bit drunk.  
Jinyoung rolled his eyes sharply toward the youngest boy, he wasn’t the type of person to put up with Yugyeom’s antics, and the younger boy knew it.  
“Yugyeom, get lost.” He spat out, turning to Jackson. “So… I heard Jaebum was looking for me?”  
Jackson nodded with a frisky smile, pointing toward the living room.  
No doubt, Jaebum was standing around by himself, sipping on a drink, letting his eyes wander around the apartment, almost longingly. He still looked cool, even though he was alone at a party, that was a talent.  
Jinyoung gathered himself mentally and approached him, painting a smile onto his face before greeting him again.  
“Where did you go?” Jaebum ignored Jinyoung’s bright smiley greeting and got straight to the point. Jinyoung’s smile faded as fast as it came.  
“I went to take a shower…” He quipped as he took a sip of his drink, using the cup as a way to avoid eye contact. There was something about Jaebum that made Jinyoung, a usually proficient liar, nervous and unskilled.  
Even while they were together, Jaebum had this way, this aura, that allowed him to cut through all of the smoke and mirrors, he was able to see Jinyoung at the core. This helped at the beginning of their relationship to help get them closer together, but in the end became something that tore them apart.  
“Your hair isn’t wet, in fact, it’s the exact same. And you just changed your shirt, that’s it.” Jaebum wasn’t entirely thrilled by Jinyoung’s obvious lies - although they may have been only obvious to him, and maybe Yugyeom.  
“What are you doing?” Jinyoung asked with a sigh, deciding to cut the niceties.  
“I thought you’d be happy to see me, I don’t know. Maybe this was a mistake.” Jaebum’s tongue flicked gently over his lip ring, playing with it slightly, it was something he did out of nervousness, and it drove Jinyoung crazy.  
Jinyoung had no way to deny the clear excitement he got when he found out Jaebum would be coming; there was a sliver of fireworks in his stomach, at the slight chance of seeing Jaebum, and maybe sharing a moment he had missed for a while.  
Now that Jaebum was here though, it felt like the same old, same old.  
“Yeah, maybe it was a mistake. Doesn’t seem like you’ve changed much over the last year.” Jinyoung was beginning to sound more and more brave.  
“Easy.” Jaebum warned, his eyes glaring hard. “You’re in no place to speak, considering what you’re up to.”  
Jinyoung’s eyebrow raised in anger, “What are you talking about?”  
The scoff that came from Jaebum’s lips was almost a laugh.  
“Looks like neither of us have changed - still lying, still scheming, still after what you can’t have… Junior.” He stared directly into Jinyoung’s eyes, almost tauntingly.  
Jinyoung remained silent, his fist clenching near his waist instinctively.  
“I’m not stupid, neither are you.” Jaebum continued his assault. “Why destroy this couple the way you destroyed us? Can’t you see how happy Jackson is?”  
Jaebum used a finger to pushed Jinyoung’s chin slightly, guiding his gaze over to the kitchen area, where Jackson was surrounded by a few friends, deep into a story, his eyes were crescent and beaming with life.  
Jinyoung could feel hot rage flushing his entire face, and it wasn’t from the alcohol.  
“I’ll ask you one last time. What do you want?” Jinyoung growled lowly.  
Jaebum’s grin returned, he leaned into Jinyoung’s ear.  
“I want you back.”  
  
  
  
  
  
 


	13. thirteen

The following morning Mark lay in bed for much, much longer than usual. Part of it was that he didn’t feel well from the alcohol, but mostly it was to avoid both Jackson and especially Jinyoung.  
Jackson had left early to study, his police academy entrance exam was looming and he was hammering out as many mock exams as he could to make sure he was well prepared. Mark wasn’t sure how he managed to study this early after how much he drank the previous night, but he was somewhat thankful for Jackson’s willpower, because it allowed him to become a hermit in the room without judgment.  
As he laid there, Mark played the events of last night over in his mind, the stuff he could remember, at least. He remembered Jinyoung’s touch, their kisses, their moments. He recalled Jaebum arriving, Yugyeom’s unfortunate interruption, and the copious amounts of alcohol he had drank.  
Mark rolled over in bed, grabbed his phone and slid it open. He boredom scrolled through social media and saw all of the obvious party posts people had made. Photos of BamBam dancing, a video of Youngjae drunkenly serenading a few girls, and many many selfies of people that had been there.  
In one of the group pictures, particularly, Mark noticed Jaebum and Jinyoung in the group. The photo was posted by an old friend Mark hadn’t spoken to in what seemed like forever. Jaebum was tagged in the caption, “Here’s to new friends #partyhardy”.  
Curious, Mark clicked on the username. To his luck, Jaebum wasn’t one of those people that made his account private.  
He’s too good looking to make his photos private, Mark thought with an eye roll.  
Jaebum’s profile was exactly the sort of thing Mark expected: full of aesthetically pleasing photos, a clean and sleek color scheme, a nice blend of architecture, photos of himself, clothing, and style. He had 12,000 followers and was only following 40 himself.  
Mark lifted his heavy duvet over himself, suddenly feeling vulnerable and small.  
Jaebum’s most recent photo was a picture of himself and Jinyoung. Mark clicked it immediately. Mark stretched the screen and zoomed in on the pair, Jinyoung looked happy, Jaebum looked almost… proud. Mark felt his cheeks flare.  
It wasn’t a new feeling, Mark had felt it before when he’d seen Jackson getting hit on by girls at his school, or when he’d seen Jackson’s exes comment on his photos on Facebook. This wasn’t a new feeling, no, but it was a new feeling for Mark to have for Jinyoung.  
Mark sighed and tossed his phone down onto the mattress, his hands ruffling through his hair as he let out a massive sigh that said both, “What the hell is wrong with me?” but also “Man Jinyoung looked good last night.”  
Almost like clock-work, Mark’s phone buzzed next to him, letting out a unique hum which was Jinyoung’s “special ringtone.” Mark’s attention piqued, he rolled over quickly and looked at the message.  
Jinyoung: Hey, are you alive?  
Mark: Yeah. Just in bed. Where are you?  
Jinyoung: I’m almost home. A few of us went out for food after the party.  
  
Mark felt oddly nervous about that last message. Having seen the post on Instagram, he knew immediately that it wasn’t taken at their condo. It was taken somewhere nice, a restaurant. The only thing is, he didn’t see anybody else in the photo.  
  
Mark: I see…  
Jinyoung: I have to talk to you about something. Can you make some of your green tea?  
Mark: Yeah. When will you be back?  
Jinyoung: Be home in 10.  
  
The nervous feeling in the pit of Mark’s abdomen worsened. Nothing good ever came after the words, “We need to talk.” or “I have to talk to you about something.” Jinyoung knew that, but he still said it, and now Mark was scurrying around his bedroom putting clothes on and flattening his bed head with a comb.  
Mark had the tea water boiling when Jinyoung’s key began scratching on the outside of the door. There were two tea cups set down on the coffee table and a nice blend of what looked like random twigs and dirt from outside rolled into a ball next to each cup. Jinyoung was always impressed by Mark and his love for tea. Jinyoung knew it was some type of Chinese tradition that Mark had received from his grandparents, but after losing them both to cancer, Mark never talked about it much. Instead, Jinyoung would just ask Mark to make him tea every once and a while, he knew it helped Mark heal.  
“What’s this one called?” Jinyoung motioned to the green tea balls as he took his jacket off and hung it up.  
Mark was sitting cross legged on the living room floor, preparing the cups with water.  
“It’s called Turquoise Dream.” Mark replied softly, he wondered if Jinyoung could clock the nerves in his tone. Instead Jinyoung just sat down at the low coffee table, directly across from Mark. He dropped the ball of tea into the cup and began swirling it around.  
Mark did the same, so the two were stirring in awkward silence for a few moments before Jinyoung spoke up.  
“How was your night?” He began as he took a small whiff of the tea. “Mmm, that’s nice.” he commented.  
Mark raised a brow slightly, not sure exactly what he was asking. “It was fine. I fell asleep, got some much needed rest. There’s been a lot on my mind.”  
“What’s been on your mind?” Jinyoung asked.  
“Who did you go for food with last night?” Mark ignored the question and asked what he was _actually_ thinking.  
Jinyoung’s facial expression didn’t change one iota. “I went with a few friends that were here, I told you. That’s all.”  
“Who?” Mark pushed back.  
Jinyoung was concerned now, his face furrowed slightly. “I don’t know why it matters but I went with Jess, Carter, Chloe, and-“  
“And Jaebum?” Mark felt as though he couldn’t keep the name on his lips much longer.  
“He was there, yes.” Jinyoung replied with a question in his tone. “Why, is that a problem?”  
“Let me get this straight, are you two talking again, are you not, like, what’s up?” It hadn’t occurred to Mark that he was coming off a bit abrasive, his usual calm self wasn’t exactly showing.  
“We’re talking again, obviously.” Jinyoung was getting a little defensive. “I mean… talking yes, but not talking talking. It’s complicated.”  
“What’s complicated?” Mark quickly pressed. “Wait… do you like him still?”  
“I don’t know, _okay_?” Was Jinyoung’s response back, just as quick.  
“Oh my god, you _do_ …” Mark’s eyes grew a bit wider, he nodded his head in little bobs as if he had known all along.  
Jinyoung looked angry now, “Mark why are you even getting upset about this? Where is this interrogation coming from?”  
“What’s so special about him, anyway?” Mark felt his usually graceful demeanour falling with each sentence, caught up in his emotions.  
“You don’t even know him.”  
“Yeah, because you kept him a secret from me.”  
“It was _your_ boyfriend that invited him here in the first place, why don’t you get mad at him? Oh I know why not… because you can’t.”  
Mark froze, Jinyoung had crossed the invisible line. The one they rarely acknowledged, much less abused. He sat in cold hard silence, not even breaking his stone like posture for a sip of the tea that had been steeping for three and a half minutes too long.  
“Yeah, I said it, your boyfriend. B-o-y-f-r-i-e-n-d.” Jinyoung had the upper hand now, and he had every intention of kicking Mark now that he was down. “Or did you forget that?”  
“That’s not fair, Jinyoung.” Mark whispered back, clearly hurt. “You… you kissed me. You… it was…”  
“It was a mistake, Mark.” Jinyoung finished his sentence like a guillotine, one that had just beheaded any sort of hope Mark had in his heart of something, anything, happening between the two boys.  
“I thought about it okay? It was a mistake. I was drunk.” Jinyoung sounded as though he was making every word up on the spot, as if he didn’t even believe his own excuses.  
“Oh bullshit, Jinyoung. What about the other times?!” Mark challenged him, “You were perfectly sober. You initiated most of it.”  
“What do you expect from me, Mark?!” Jinyoung’s eyes were sharp and anger filled. His jaw was hard and tense, his nostrils flared a little. Jinyoung rarely raised his voice, but when he did it was game-changing.  
“I don’t know, okay? I just thought… I thought…” Mark stumbled on the words.  
“You thought what? We could just start a relationship together as if there would be no problems, no repercussions or consequences, that everything would just be fine and dandy?!” Jinyoung continued to interrupt Mark, disabling what little confidence Mark had left.  
“Nevermind.” Mark conceded lowly, he took one small sip of the hot tea and placed it down, pushed himself away from the coffee table and exited the room.  
Inside his bedroom, Mark sat near the window, fighting whatever tears were desperate to escape his eyes. He swallowed past the lump in his throat; all he could feel was shame, guilt, embarrassment, and loss.  
Outside the door Mark could hear Jinyoung mumbling lowly on his cellphone to someone. Mark’s pained heart made a small wish that it wasn’t who he thought it was.  
A few minutes later his wish was shattered, as a sleek black car pulled up to the front of the building, without honking, and from the window Mark could see it was Jaebum. He only needed to wait a moment to then see Jinyoung speed walk out of the building and enter on the passenger’s side. The last tear still lingering in Mark’s eye finally won the battle, falling down his cheek painfully slowly as Mark watched the pair drive off quickly.  
 


	14. fourteen

Jinyoung slammed the door of the car and let out a sigh, not happy at all with what just went down with his best friend, and not entirely pleased to know Jaebum was the only person available to help him escape that awkward and hard situation.  
Jaebum grinned from the other seat when Jinyoung entered, clearly pleased.  
“Can we just go?” Jinyoung could feel the smugness radiating from his ex-boyfriend.  
“Whatever you say, babe.” He answered, shifting the car into drive.  
“D-Don’t call me that.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes.  
They drove for a bit before they ended up at a small cafe, although because of how small and dingy it was, you wouldn’t have known it was a cafe upon initial glance. Jinyoung knew exactly what it was though, because it was the location of he and Jaebum’s very first date. The place he asked Jaebum to be his.  
“Really, here?” Jinyoung questioned, examining the exterior of the shop.  
“It’s only fitting, I thought. Since this will be our first date all over again, you know, since we haven’t talked in over a year.” Jaebum parked the car and nudged his head for Jinyoung to exit with him.  
“This is NOT a date.” Jinyoung clarified with a grunt, reluctantly following Jaebum into the cafe.  
When they entered the establishment it was a lot smaller than Jinyoung remembered it. But, maybe back then it was because Jinyoung was much younger. Jaebum was steadfast, leading them to the exact same booth they had their first date.  
When they sat down, Jinyoung couldn’t help but to stare at Jaebum who was sitting across from him, taking his leather jacket off. Jaebum had an impeccable complexion, like smooth snow, and two adorable birth marks on the side of his eye. Jinyoung recalled that those birth marks were the cutest thing about him.  
“You had to choose this exact seat too, hey?” Jinyoung was smiling sarcastically.  
“What’s wrong? This is the place that you asked me to be your boyfriend. You remember that don’t you?” Jaebum was staring intently back at him. “It was only our first date too, but you were so eager to have me be your boyfriend already. First date.”  
Jinyoung began to feel embarrassed, “Yes well that’s because there was just something about you alright.” And suddenly Jinyoung was beginning to get serious. “I could just tell, there was something about you, I knew that I could trust you. You were genuine, you were perfect.”  
Jaebum smiled shyly, then peered down at the table to avoid eye contact.  
“JB, what are we _doing_?” Jinyoung finally escaped his sweet memories.  
“What are _you_ doing?” Jaebum countered. “You called _me_ , remember.”  
Jinyoung was about to argue back, but remained silent, his jaw tense because Jaebum was right.  
“Can I get you guys something to drink?” A young lady interrupted them. She placed two menus down and smiled sweetly. She was young, and Jinyoung assumed she was probably the cafe owner’s daughter, since she had the same stark red curly hair.  
“I’ll have my regular.” Jaebum answered simply.  
“Um” The young woman mumbled, “I’m new, so I’m not entirely sure what your regular is. I can grab my mother though, she’ll know. One moment.”  
Jinyoung stared down at the paper menu a bit longer, mostly to avoid eye contact with Jaebum.  
When the server returned she was accompanied by a large than life, red haired woman with bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow that was painted on her face with no real grace.  
“Jaebum!” She said, kneeling down quickly to kiss Jaebum on the cheek. She left a small red tint on the apple of his cheek that he automatically wiped off with a napkin, as if he had done it a million times.  
“And oh my gosh, is this… I’m sorry love, I can’t remember your name. It was something Chinese, wasn’t it?” She said, turning her attention to Jinyoung. Her comment was a tad racist, but Jinyoung could tell she didn’t mean any harm.  
“It’s Korean actually, my name’s Jinyoung.” He replied as sweetly as he could.  
“Yes! That’s the one!” She beamed back, “You two young fellas had your first date here a while back, don’t think I would forget!”  
Jaebum laughed and nodded happily.“So, how long has it been now?” She then asked. Silence fell over the entire table. Jinyoung bowed out of answering that question, seeing as Jaebum seemed to be a lot closer to the woman. Hell, Jinyoung couldn’t even remember the lady, regardless of how out-there she was.  
“Actually…” Jaebum began with an embarrassed stutter, “We’re not really…”  
“Oh.” The woman gasped with a whisper, just as embarrassed. “Well… I’m sorry.”  
“No no, don’t mention it.” Jaebum tried to quell the air as quickly as he could. “We’ll just order two of my regulars, alright?”  
The woman nodded, then yanked her daughter by the elbow and dragged her to the back.  
“That was painful.” Jinyoung shook his head. “You didn’t even tell her we had broken up, seems like you come here a lot?”  
Jaebum’s mood fell slightly lower than it already was.  
“I began coming here after you broke up with me, yes.” He confessed, “It felt nice to be here, even though it was a subtle reminder of what was.”  
Jinyoung couldn’t help but to feel just a smidge of guilt for what happened between them. After all, it was him who decided to break up with Jaebum.  
“Looks like it didn’t work out with… what’s his face…” Jaebum continued.  
“Jungkook.” Jinyoung whispered back.  
“Yeah.” Jaebum nodded. “If I recall correctly, you guys didn’t last long at all.”  
Jinyoung remained quiet for a moment longer before speaking up.  
“I was stupid, and young, _alright?_ Is that what you want to hear?” Jinyoung raised his voice a tad, drawing a concerned glance from a guest at another table. “I fucked up. I left you after two years to pursue something that didn’t even last two weeks. Is that what you want? I just fucked up.”  
Jaebum’s tongue began to trace over his lip ring again - he was nervous and uncomfortable.  
“God damnit, what is it with every one today? First Mark, now you.” Jinyoung muttered to himself, his hand ruffling his dark hair out of stress.  
“Wait, what?” Jaebum piqued, “What was that?”  
Jinyoung closed his eyes and cut his breath short.  
_“Fuck.”_ He exhaled.  
“Jinyoung.” Jaebum leaned in closer from the other side of the table, “Did you call me _just_ because you got into a fight with Mark?”  
Jinyoung raised his head and stared directly into Jaebum’s eyes, his eyes were sharp and dark.  
“It’s none of your business, really. Stay out of it.” Jinyoung warned, “Besides, I’m starting to think that this was a mistake, anyway.”  
Jinyoung groaned and ran his hand through his hair yet again.  
“You really haven’t changed, have you?” Jaebum sighed. “You’re the same person. You want what you want, and you go and you get it. Don’t matter who gets hurt.”  
Jinyoung’s fist balled up tensely as Jaebum spoke.  
“Only problem is that you never like something long enough for it to matter anyway. Eventually you get tired of them, they lose their shine.” Jaebum seemed upset, but remained calm. “To be honest, I’m surprised we even lasted as long as we did.”  
“Stop, JB, please.” Jinyoung said, looking past the boy’s head at the young waitress that was returning with their drinks.  
She placed them down on the table, two extra hot green tea lattes.  
“Enjoy.” She said cheerfully and returned. The pair ignored her.  
“You must’ve liked other people while we were together. Maybe you _were_ seeing other people while we were together and just didn’t tell me. I mean, that’s probably how you were able to stay with me for so long.”  
“For God’s sake, JB.” Jinyoung slammed the balled fist onto the table almost like a reflex, Jaebum didn’t even flinch.  
“Tell me differently, then.” Jaebum leaned in again, “Did you cheat on me while we were together?  
The two boys were locked at the eyes in a tense stare-down.  
“Well, did you?” Jaebum asked again.  
“I didn’t.” Jinyoung answered blankly.  
Jaebum’s hard exterior softened a little, and he pulled away from the gaze.  
“No, JB. I didn't cheat on you...” Jinyoung said, slowly putting his coat back on. “But I sure wanted to.”  
With that, Jinyoung stood up and walked out of the cafe.

*  
Outside it had started to rain a little, the sky was overcast but starting to darken. Jinyoung walked down the adjacent road toward home, the rain pelting his hair until it was soaked and matted.  
Fifteen minutes of walking later, a text message came in on his cell.  
  
**JB:** I don’t know what your plan is with Mark, but we both know he doesn’t deserve anything you’ve done to me.  
  
Jinyoung slid the phone into his coat and picked up his pace, nearly stomping now out of anger.  
When he finally returned home, he slammed the front door behind him and was glad to see that Jackson’s shoes were not in the front doorway.  
“Babe, is that you?!” Mark called out from inside the condo.  
Jinyoung followed the voice and ran smack dab into Mark in the hallway as he was making his way out of the living room.  
“How was studying-“ Mark was about to ask before he crashed into Jinyoung, who was still soaking wet.”  
Jinyoung paused for what felt like only a fraction of a second, stared into Mark’s eyes frantically and with hunger, then grabbed Mark’s head with both of his hands and pulled the boy into a kiss that was cold and wet, but heated up quickly as Mark draped his arms around Jinyoung’s shoulders willingly.


	15. fifteen

Jinyoung pressed forward, Mark’s head still in his grasp as he kissed the boy deeper and deeper. He lead Mark backwards into the living room, where he pushed Mark down ruggedly onto their sofa.  
Jinyoung crashed down on top of Mark, barely letting a second go by where their lips were apart. He continued to pull Mark’s face into his, his kiss deepening as he used his tongue to wet Mark’s lips slightly. He kissed Mark with determination and intent; there was no way Mark could misinterpret Jinyoung’s plans the way his best friend was making out with him in that moment.  
No words were needed - Mark could feel the urgency and emotion from Jinyoung’s heavy breathing and the longing in his eyes. Their argument from earlier was now just a faded memory, it may as well have not even happened for all Mark cared, now that he had Jinyoung between his arms.  
“Take this off” Jinyoung tugged on Mark’s banana yellow, loose fitted t-shirt. Mark broke away for a split second to take it off, Jinyoung removed his own at the same time.  
After Jinyoung had removed his shirt and tossed it to the floor next to Mark’s, he was now face to face with shirtless Mark, the sight was exhilarating for him. Although it was a common occurrence for Jackson to be walking around the house half naked, Mark was rarely shirtless, and didn’t like to show off much skin, it just wasn’t him.  
So Jinyoung always took every opportunity to appreciate the smooth skinned, toned body that Mark secretly had. He had a swimmer’s body, without the swimming part, and every bump and curve of muscle on his body was as beautiful as ever.  
“Come here” Jinyoung pulled on Mark’s hand, yanking the boy into him. He sat down on the couch properly, then pulled Mark down on top of him until the boy was straddling him, his legs on each side of Jinyoung’s hips.  
Mark held onto Jinyoung’s head with both hands loosely, his head thrown back in pleasure as Jinyoung kissed and sucked Mark’s torso, flicking his tongue on Mark’s nipples and suckling slightly every once in a while.  
Mark’s dick twitched with anticipation at each kiss from Jinyoung, the bites becoming almost feverish as he continued to nibble and taste Mark.  
Jinyoung’s hands traced down Mark’s slim body, down his upper chest and to his hips, where he cupped them firmly and then took Mark’s ass cheeks into each hand. Mark was wearing loose grey sweats that were easy for Jinyoung to get under. He didn’t even need to pull on the waistband to snake his fingers under them, sliding down to his plump, warm skin.  
Mark whimpered when Jinyoung squeezed, it had been a long time since Mark let anyone touch him down there. Over the past weeks it had gotten more difficult for him to be intimate with Jackson, so every touch and grasp from Jinyoung was an exciting and welcomed feeling.  
Mark leaned back down to Jinyoung and kissed him again, their tongues brushing fluidly, Jinyoung had the slightest of stubble, and it rubbed Mark’s chin with a tickle as they kissed.  
Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s head again, hugging the boy into him as he dropped his weight into Jinyoung with a lusty moan; Jinyoung, still kissing Mark, took him by both legs, securing them around his waist, and lifted the boy up.  
Mark was surprised at first at how easy Jinyoung was able to lift him, it was incredibly hot how strong Jinyoung actually was, despite not looking it. He carried Mark towards his bedroom, letting Mark’s back crash into the door with a light thud, knocking it open.  
Mark’s dick was practically throbbing at that point, ready to be touched, begging, almost. Once Jinyoung laid him down on the bed, he used a hand to push his sweats down, slithering out of them with ease until they were balled at his ankles and easily tossed with a kick.  
Naked and horny, Mark knew exactly what he wanted in that moment. His stomach was filled with a million butterflies as he pictured Jinyoung inside of him.  
Jinyoung crawled up the bed to join Mark, hovering over him excitedly, but a tad nervous as well. Mark sensed it and grabbed his friend’s hand, guiding it directly to his taint area, he pressed Jinyoung’s fingers onto the surface of his hole, rubbing gently to give Jinyoung the hint.  
Jinyoung clued in without missing a beat, then took over rubbing Mark’s hole firmly and with strong rhythm. Mark’s mouth parted but no sound came out as Jinyoung stared directly into his eyes, rubbing him over and over.  
“It’s uh, it’s been a while.” Mark whispered, looking down at Jinyoung’s hand. “Try to go easy, alright?”  
Jinyoung nodded, still maintaining his eye contact with Mark. He retracted the same hand to his mouth for a moment, let a few drops of saliva fall onto his index and middle finger, then returned them, coating Mark warmly with his spit.  
Mark was bucking ever so slightly into Jinyoung’s fingers, relaxing himself with each rubbing motion. While he traced the entrance to Mark’s hole with his finger, Jinyoung leaned in and gave Mark a few small and tender kissed on the cheek.  
He then stopped rubbing and allowed his fingers to enter Mark, pushing through his outer ring smoothly. His eyes moved to Mark’s, checking for any tell tale signs of discomfort, but Mark’s eyes were closed and his tongue was licking his lips slightly.  
“Does that feel good?” Jinyoung asked, his tone was seductive by nature, but he was also legitimately curious.  
Mark nodded in response, his hand gripping Jinyoung’s strong forearm, “I needed this.”  
“Just wait until I’m inside you, then.” Jinyoung whispered, returning to Mark’s mouth with another flurry of wet kisses.  
Jinyoung continued to stretch Mark out, the other boy moaning expectantly and with a hungry lust. When he was unable to hold it any more, Jinyoung quickly pulled his pants down and tossed them onto the floor next to Mark’s.  
He freed his tight erection from his underwear and gave it a few well-needed gropes. There was a condom on the bedside stand that Jinyoung was just able to reach from where he was, he ripped it open and put it on quicker than he’d ever done before, giving his dick a quick spit and a stroke to coat it.  
Jinyoung ran his hands down Mark’s thighs and opened his legs, spreading them to the side before he assumed a more comfortable position, placing the tip of his dick directly on his best friend’s hole.  
Jinyoung used a hand to guide it into place, then pushed with a cautious thrust into Mark, sliding easily for the tip, but earning an almost painful moan from Mark when he got to the thicker shaft of his dick.  
Mark bit his lip and relaxed to allow the increased thickness of his hole better adjust; Jinyoung waited a moment before pushing back in a little harder. Mark started to breathe heavily, muttering the smallest of curses under his breath as Jinyoung pulled and pushed back in at a constant, slow rhythm.  
Mark’s hole tightened around Jinyoung as the boy pushed back in and felt himself go deeper until he was all the way inside. Mark breathed out an audible groaned, almost like a sigh of relief mixed with pleasure. Jinyoung’s laboured breathing was nearly the same in that moment.  
Jinyoung’s dick had surprising girth, it was more than big enough to fill Mark completely, and it was as hard as rock.  
A “holy fuck that’s nice” escaped from Mark’s mouth, Jinyoung smirked at that and picked up his pace in return, fucking Mark a bit faster. Mark’s tight hole was clenching and unclenching, pulling Jinyoung deeper and tighter into him with every slam of his friend’s hips.  
Mark’s precum was beginning to drip onto his stomach now, the pounding turning him on incredibly.  
“You feel so good baby” Jinyoung breathed out with a sharp in and exhale. Jinyoung calling Mark baby made the butterflies in his stomach nearly explode. He could feel the fiery excitement in his lower abdomen growing and growing.  
“Oh my god, I think I’m already getting close” Mark whispered as Jinyoung continued to thrust into him. He grabbed Mark’s neck for support as he leaned in further and picked his pace up even more.  
“Ah, fuck” Mark continued to moan. Jinyoung could feel Mark’s prostate now, it was firm and pressing directly into him. He drilled downward, rubbing his dick directly onto it as hard as he could, making Mark’s head fall backward into the small mountain of bed sheets.  
“Cum for me baby” Jinyoung demanded, squeezing tighter on Mark’s soft neck.  
Mark whimpered, his breathing picking up pace and almost matching Jinyoung’s thrusts. When Mark began to groan and growl, Jinyoung knew he had done it, he had made Mark cum without the boy even having touched himself.  
Mark’s hole tightened up and hugged around Jinyoung for a total of five seconds, while his body’s muscles spasmed in pleasure and his dick shot out a thick white stream of cum all over his chest, a few drops getting onto his pretty lips.  
Jinyoung too wasn’t able to contain himself any longer, he had wanted to fuck Mark so badly for so long now, and now that he was deep inside of Mark he knew he had to. As Mark’s orgasm came down, Jinyoung massaged him still slowly until he came too.  
Mark laid panting with beads of sweat matting his forehead. Jinyoung collapsed into him, laying directly on top of Mark. Mark held Jinyoung in his arms, his heart drumming away, he imagined Jinyoung could probably hear it through his chest.  
“You loved that, didn’t you?” Jinyoung snickered with a grin.  
“You have no idea” Mark sighed into his ear.  
Jinyoung slid over until he was next to Mark on the bed, he stretched an arm over and pulled Mark into him, Mark’s head lay gently on Jinyoung’s bare chest.  
“You’re so warm” Mark nuzzled into Jinyoung and closed his eyes.  
“Mark… I’m sorry for storming out earlier, and for what I said.” Jinyoung spoke softly, “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.”  
Mark’s eyes remained closed, he breathed slowly and let his head rest on Jinyoung.  
“I was stupid, and I want you to know it’ll never happen again.” Jinyoung lifted Mark’s face by the chin with his finger, looking into his eyes. “This… this was not a mistake. This is perfect. This is how it’s supposed to be between us.”  
Mark stared longingly into Jinyoung’s eyes, there was a small twinkle from the dim light.  
“What about… JB…” Mark whispered back.  
“Forget him. He’s nothing. If anything, he’s the mistake.” Jinyoung seemed adamant. “I know in my heart that we belong together, Mark, me and you.”  
“Together?” Mark echoed lowly.  
“Yeah.” Jinyoung kissed his forehead.  
Mark laid back down on Jinyoung’s chest, blinking off into the darkness of the room. He wasn’t sure exactly what Jinyoung was proposing, but he enjoyed the sound of “together.”


End file.
